


Illuminated

by eucatastrophe__x



Series: Light of my Life [5]
Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Coming Out, Confessions, Dating, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Underage Relationship(s), M/M, New Zealand, Orgasm Delay/Denial (mild), Past Relationship(s), Pickups, Quickies, Secret Relationship, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:49:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6001536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eucatastrophe__x/pseuds/eucatastrophe__x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lee had thought that returning to New Zealand for pickups would mark a giant step backwards for him and Richard, and had mentally prepared himself for another three months of sneaking around under the cover of darkness and keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the cast and crew. Now that they were living together, acting like Richard was no more to him than a colleague would be even more difficult than it had been before; it would be his least favourite role to date, but one that he was willing to play for Richard’s sake.</p><p>He’d made it clear that how and when they told the cast was Richard’s call and Richard’s call alone – but as confident as Richard had seemed about doing so, Lee couldn’t shake the fear that his optimism would wither away as soon as his plane touched down, leaving them right back where they started.</p><p>As it turned out, though, he needn’t have worried at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Richard, you’re _glowing.”_

Lee chanced a mildly interested glance at Richard across the restaurant table, and – yes, Martin was right. He was smiling beatifically, his cheeks flushed from something other than alcohol (the glass of Coke in front of him indicating his sobriety) and his whole demeanour radiating comfortableness and utter relaxation. To be fair, it was a look that Lee saw on him reasonably frequently – but, given what caused it, it didn’t usually stay on when he was in public, or when he was surrounded by the rest of the Hobbit cast.

And yet he didn’t seem bothered at all, leaning back in his chair and taking another sip of his drink before responding in the most bizarrely casual tone possible.

“It must be all the fantastic sex I’ve been having.”

Martin choked, spraying his beer everywhere, down his front and across the table. The others who were listening in on the conversation had much the same reaction – and even Lee dropped his fork in surprise.

Not that he should have been surprised at all, objectively – since he knew full well and could vouch for just how fantastic said sex had been. He’d been party to it, after all.

He and Richard had been apart for the last month, but unlike previous separations, that month had been filled with texts and phone calls and Skype sessions, Richard never missing an opportunity to explain in lurid detail what they were going to do when they next had the opportunity. There was something about the distance that removed his filter entirely, making him prone to say things (in that low rumbling tone that always got Lee going, even across an ocean or two) that would usually make him flush practically purple with embarrassment so early on in the proceedings.

But, all the same, watching Richard jerk himself off across the world and through the camera while Lee did the same couldn’t hold a candle to having him there in person. The orgasms were never quite so satisfying, and while Richard would still tell Lee he loved him afterwards, the words never sounded quite as sweet as they did when they were spoken in hot breaths against his skin and followed by deep kisses that left both their heads spinning.

He was used to missing Richard – they’d been apart for months on end between principal photography finished and the press appearances for the first movie, after all. The difference was that this time, he’d become so accustomed to having unfettered access, falling asleep and waking up in his embrace every day, that to have him disappear had been a shock to say the least. The sudden loneliness had been a deep ache in his chest, and only the first few confused seconds when he first woke up (along with the Skype calls, whenever they could manage them, and the sight of Richard’s grinning but exhausted face) offered any reprieve. He wondered if this was how Richard had felt during those three months – lost and adrift and unable to understand how he’d ever been able to function without the other man as a part of his life – and it made him want to never let him go again.

He hadn’t shied away from admitting his feelings to Richard – they were a long way past hiding things from each other now, after all – and Richard had just smiled in that gentle way of his, promising that one day they’d pack it all in, walk away from Hollywood, buy a big old farm (he knew that doing so was a dream of Lee’s and had been for years, and Lee loved the fact that he wasn’t opposed to the idea), move to the country and build a new life together. It wasn’t the first time that this potential future had come up in conversation, but it never failed to fill Lee’s chest with happiness and hope for what lay ahead – both in the next few years and the rest of their lives – because when Richard was talking like this, it made Lee truly believe that in spite of all his fears, Richard saw the relationship lasting for a long, long time.

“I’d like that.”

“I know.”

“I wish you were here.”

“Me too, love.”

They had both been counting down the days anxiously – Richard would text him, every morning, to remind him (as if he could forget, as if he didn’t spend every waking moment thinking about it) how long it was until they would see each other again.

And just when Lee was starting to wonder if he was actually going to go insane from wanting – that day arrived.

It finally arrived.

Pickups were about to start, and most of the cast had organised a short getaway beforehand, flying into Auckland en route to Wellington so they could spend a few days exploring the city. Some had been before – Aidan the most frequently of all the non-Kiwi members of the Company, for obvious, Dean-related reasons – but for others, including Lee and Richard, it was a new experience. 

(While they had never gone anywhere together on their days off, Lee knew that he and Richard tended to spend them the same way: exploring all the outdoor activities that New Zealand had to offer while largely shying away from its cities. Manhattan was city enough for him; what it _didn’t_ have was the hiking and skiing, the wide-open spaces and breathtaking scenery and the ability to make him feel like he was the only person in the world. New Zealand offered all of those in spades, and he had been determined to damn well make the most of it.)

Of course, it also meant that there were new hotel rooms to christen. Richard had decided – he’d announced it during one of their phone calls, and Lee hadn’t exactly been opposed to the idea – that he had told everyone else that he was arriving twelve hours later than he actually did, just so he could lock himself in Lee’s hotel room for one long night and make up for lost time.

And Christ, was the man _insatiable._ Lee liked to think he had a high sex drive, but this time it had been blown out of the water completely.

He had left a key card downstairs, as usual, but that hadn’t stopped him from spending the evening on the couch in his hotel room, knee bouncing in anticipation, as he watched the minutes tick past. Everyone else had gone out for dinner, but he’d feigned exhaustion and jetlag, knowing full well that they would be out all night and no one would know that Richard had already arrived. In reality, he was far too keyed up to even consider sleeping – the prospect of Richard, so tantalisingly close, kept his heart rate up and adrenaline zinging. And when he finally heard the click of the door opening, he was on his feet and crossing the room and wrapping his arms around Richard and squeezing like they hadn’t seen each other in _years._

It might as well have been years, now that he was used to waking up next to him every morning.

“I missed you so much,” he murmured, burying his face in Richard’s neck and breathing him in – acutely aware that Richard was doing exactly the same thing – his body remembering and responding to Richard’s shape and reassuring weight and the way he felt in Lee’s embrace, everything slowly recalibrating, the world returning to the way it should be.

And eventually, Richard looked up at him, bright-eyed (he thought there could have been the slightest film of tears, but then again, it might have just been a trick of the light) and wearing the smile that he’d been so anxious to see in person again.

“Are you going to show me how much?”

“God, am I ever,” he groaned, letting Richard wind one arm around his waist and knot his fingers in his hair and pull him in for a long, hot, needy kiss and oh, the familiar feel and taste was almost too perfect, and he was so achingly desperate to get Richard out of his clothes and into bed.

But they didn’t even make it that far.

“I want you,” Richard gasped, as Lee found one of his favourite spots on his neck and swiped his tongue over it gently and then again less gently, “right now.” As he spoke, he was reaching impatiently for the waistband of Lee’s sweats, pushing them down just far enough for him to wrap a hand around his rapidly hardening cock.

“Fuck,” Lee breathed, clutching at the small of Richard’s back, his knees already starting to tremble as Richard worked him over, firm and insistent, finding his rhythm in a matter of seconds (and shit, he hadn’t lost his touch at _all_ over the last month), “okay, give me a minute, lube’s in the bedroom.”

But Richard didn’t let him go, reaching for his own belt buckle with his free hand and unzipping his fly and then guiding Lee’s fingers down and –

_Holy shit._

Apparently they weren’t going to need the lube after all.

“It – you – ungh,” he stuttered, and Richard just smirked wickedly. “The traffic was really bad on the way in, and whoever booked the car decided that it would be appropriate to get me one of those obnoxious things with a privacy partition – I figured I’d use my time efficiently.”

The image of Richard fingering himself open on the back seat of a car had Lee’s brain short-circuiting – it was so staggeringly unlike him, and that in itself was a fucking turn on like nothing else. He wasn’t aware that he’d stopped breathing until Richard waved a hand in front of his face anxiously. “Hey, don’t pass out on me – not exactly the reaction I was going for.”

At that, he managed a choking little laugh, regathering his senses enough to push Richard down onto the couch. Richard lifted his hips eagerly for Lee to rid him of his trousers, but they got caught around his shoes. “Fuck it,” Lee muttered, tugging off one shoe and managing to get him half-untangled, “that’ll do.”

Richard’s left leg was still mostly clothed and he was wearing his other shoe and Lee hadn’t got his sweats any further down his thighs and it wasn’t going to be pretty or romantic or dignified or anything but pure, unadulterated need and neither of them cared in the slightest and he groaned embarrassingly loudly as he pushed into Richard in one not-quite-gentle thrust.

God, it felt good. No matter how many times they had sex, it would never fail to amaze him – every time was like the first all over again.

Fucking Richard had always been mind-blowing – right from the get go, when he’d turned up on the step of Lee’s trailer with a bag full of dinner and a nervous smile; a dinner which had turned into something else, Richard gasping his name and clenching around him and kissing him like he never wanted to stop. It was a memory that he would always look back on fondly – at least, in moments when he didn’t have more pressing needs to attend to.

“ _Shit,_ Lee,” Richard grunted, reaching above his head to cling to the arm of the couch and use it as leverage as he bucked up, trying to take Lee deeper on every forceful thrust. There was something so rough and almost animalistic about it – maybe it was the way he had ended up buried in Richard within two minutes of him walking through the door, or maybe it was the desperate, almost pained look on Richard’s face, or the way that his shirt was still neatly buttoned up to his throat while its lower half was wrinkled and rucked halfway up his stomach. Either way, Lee could feel an all-too-familiar sensation building incredibly quickly (hell, probably faster than it had since he was a teenager), and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

_“Rich,”_ he managed, in the warning tone that Richard knew very well, “sorry, but I –”

“Oh, thank god,” Richard panted, reaching for his cock, the slide of his hand jerky and frantic, “I was trying to hold on but I don’t think – fuck, Lee, I’m –” 

Lee bit down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, the sharp sting distracting him just enough to keep going until Richard had come (most of it landing on his shirt rather than his skin) – and then he caved, squeezing his eyes shut as his climax set every nerve in his body alight, pulsing out of him and into Richard and leaving them both gasping for air.

“Jesus Christ, Lee,” Richard breathed as Lee finally pulled out, unclenching his white-knuckled fingers from around the arm of the couch and wincing as he flexed them, “that was…”

“Sorry it was over so quickly,” he said, his arousal fading to make way for embarrassment, “I just haven’t seen you for so long and…”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Richard smirked, somehow both devious and lazy, “you’ve got the rest of the night to make it up to me.”

Lee liked to think that he had succeeded, especially if the dazed euphoria that had been emanating from Richard all morning was anything to go by. He had managed to tamp it down slightly for lunch with the rest of the cast – but clearly, not enough, because Martin had noticed and now here they were, on their first day back, everyone staring at Richard and him seeming completely unfazed.

Lee had worried a lot about what would happen on their return to New Zealand. It was all very well and good living in their little bubble in Manhattan, but in Wellington, things would be different, and Lee couldn’t help but think that pickups were going to act as a giant step backwards in their relationship. They might have been able to keep things under wraps last time, but with all the progress they’d made since then, he had a sinking feeling that he was really going to struggle to keep as distant and platonic as he used to.

And god, they really had made progress.

He still couldn’t quite believe how much.

It had taken him a while to summon up the courage to discuss the matter with Richard, but when he had done so – they’d spent the afternoon reading on the couch, their heads at opposite ends, the doors onto the balcony thrown open and the spring sun streaming in – it had gone much better than he’d expected, Richard doing his best to allay his concerns and reassuring him that no, he really didn’t want to spend all of pickups skulking around like they had done before, because in the long run to do so would only hurt both of them. Lee, in turn, had made it abundantly clear that that decision to divulge their relationship was in Richard’s hands and Richard’s hands alone: he told Richard that he wasn’t going to push him to declare that they were in love as soon as they walked back onto set, but at the same time, he didn’t think he was going to be able to hide his feelings convincingly for the whole three months, not least around these people who he considered to be his friends.

He had realised that he had to leave it to Richard to make the call as to who found out about them when; that much had been clear ever since that catastrophic night earlier in the year when he had nearly lost Richard, when he’d jumped the gun by divulging the relationship to his parents.

(He hadn’t meant to say it, he really hadn’t – he hadn’t been lying when he’d told Richard that it had just slipped out – but Christ, if it hadn’t felt incredible to tell them, to share the giddy joy that being with Richard had brought into his life. The consequences had been nigh on apocalyptic, of course, but he still remembered the unreserved euphoria of the moment itself. And he wanted to make more memories like it, to tell everyone he could, to replicate that feeling a thousand times over.)

Richard knew where Lee stood on the issue – that he’d be more than happy to put out a press release, call up a tame journalist, kiss in front of the world at the next premiere – but he also knew that Lee was willing to wait for as long as it took for Richard to get comfortable enough with his sexuality to share those views. He certainly wasn’t that confident yet – but the general public was one thing, and the rest of the cast was another.

Even so, Lee worried – constantly, intensely – that that would be a step too far. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining Richard returning to Wellington buoyed up with optimism and ready to come clean with the rest of the cast, only to have the old fear consume him the minute he walked onto set, leading him to the inexorable conclusion that telling them was a step too far. All their progress would be undone in the blink of an eye and Lee would have to start breaking down his barriers all over again.

“I’m scared,” he admitted, not looking at Richard’s face but at their linked fingers, the way that Richard’s curled between his so naturally, like they’d been made to fit there.

“Why, love?”

“I don’t want to go back to how things were before. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to lose this, and I’m worried that Wellington is going to ruin everything we’ve been working towards.”

“It won’t,” Richard soothed, “and things will be different this time. I promise you that much. I don’t know when I’ll be ready to tell them everything, but I _do_ know that I’ll be sitting with you at lunch, talking to you about things other than work, and sneaking you away from set to take you on dates whenever we can manage it. And maybe most importantly, I’ll be coming home to you at the end of every day, and waking up in bed with you every morning, and I promise not to scuttle out in the wee hours unless there’s a very, very good reason.”

The determination in his voice was comforting, and when Lee looked up, he found that it was mirrored in his eyes as well.

“And,” Richard added, squeezing his hand for emphasis, “you know full well that I don’t want to lose you, either.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

Richard had kissed him then, his mouth slow and sure and his skin warm from the sun. He’d let Lee peel off his shirt then and there, let him climb into his lap and press his hands to the back of the couch and suck bruises along his collarbone and rock against him until he was gasping for more. He’d even let Lee pick him up and carry him to the bedroom (taking advantage of Lee’s occupied hands to nuzzle into his neck and mark him in return, snickering when Lee walked into the table because he was so preoccupied by the hot sting of Richard’s teeth), push him onto his back and finish undressing him and proceed to take him apart in the patch of sunlight that shone directly onto their bed on afternoons like these.

Needless to say, there was no more talking – save for soft moans and whispered pleas, anyway – for a very long time, the conversation about Wellington and what lay ahead very clearly at an end.

If Lee was honest with himself, though, he had thought that if and when they did come out, it would be an announcement that they worked towards slowly – extremely slowly, maybe even a week or more down the line – as Richard reacquainted himself with the rest of the cast and convinced himself that he could be open with them without fear of judgment. He hadn’t quite expected it to happen within the first two hours of Richard seeing everyone again.

And yet.

Martin held up his free hand authoritatively as he used the other to mop up the worst of the beer that had spilled down his front – but he still couldn’t quite manage a coherent question.

“Now just – what – you – who – how –”

It wasn’t often that he was lost for words, and Richard was clearly extremely amused by it, sitting there quietly with his drink while he waited. Lee, on the other hand, was oscillating between wanting to laugh and wanting to vomit with nerves. It wasn’t that he wasn’t okay with it – Christ, no – but discussing it wasn’t exactly something that had been a priority the previous night, and he had been expecting Richard to raise the issue and ask him a thousand times if it was okay before shouting out the truth.

Then again, Richard taking leaps like this and proving Lee wrong was probably one of Lee’s favourite things in the world.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t done it before.

And as far as Lee was concerned, any time that Richard wanted to tell people was the right time: if that time was now, then so be it. Lee couldn’t say he wasn’t thrilled.

(Plus, the way Richard had chosen to do it, and everyone’s reactions, was certainly making the process rather enjoyable.)

“Deep breaths, Martin,” Jed grinned, patting him on the back as he cleared his throat again with a reproachful expression. Richard, meanwhile, drained his glass before pushing his seat back and standing up to indicate that the conversation – what conversation it had been – was most definitely at an end. That made Lee want to laugh even more – he was going to drop that bombshell and then walk away, not giving any more detail and leaving the rest of the group dying of curiosity. It was Richard all over.

“Right, I’m going to go and see if I can rustle up some more drinks – anyone else need a refill?”

As soon as Richard was out of earshot, having taken everyone’s orders before heading to the bar at the other end of the restaurant, Martin leaned across the table, gesturing to everyone else in the vicinity to do the same. “Okay, you lot – out with it. Is he taking the piss, and if not, who knew he was seeing someone?”

Interestingly – to Lee, at least – the consensus within the group appeared to be that this was not something Richard would joke about: he discussed the intimate details of his private life so rarely, if at all, that making a comment of this nature clearly had to be taken seriously.

“Right, so now that’s settled – who is it?”

Lee knew that to say that they’d been secretive was the understatement of the century – but, even so, he couldn’t help feeling a little bit smug as everyone shook their heads perplexedly, none of them having the faintest idea who Richard was talking about, the other party to the incredible sex that had put that happy flush on his face.

Oh, they had done so well.

“It’s got to be someone he’s worked with,” Martin speculated thoughtfully, “I’m sure he said he was going to be shooting something else as soon as principal photography finished – he wouldn’t have had time to date around. And it must be a recent thing – there’s no way he could have been involved with someone on set here without everyone else finding out. Look at those two, for Christ’s sake,” he added, gesturing to Aidan and Dean, who were sitting as close to each other as physically possible without being in each other’s laps, Aidan’s arm curled around Dean’s waist, but at least managed a pair of embarrassed smiles at the rest of the group’s attention. Subtlety had never been Aidan’s strong point – or Martin’s, come to think of it, since he’d been the one to sniff out the fact that Aidan and Dean were together in the first place and then promptly and unapologetically broadcast it to the rest of the cast. That had to have been playing on Richard’s mind the whole time that he and Lee were sneaking around: one slip, and it would all be over. And Lee had known, without a doubt, that if they had been found out any earlier, before Richard had been ready to own it, what they had would have crumbled around them.

And it would have destroyed him. Hell, it would have destroyed both of them. There were no two ways about it.

But now – now these staggering shifts in Richard kept happening, each bigger than the last, and each leaving Lee reeling.

He’d told his parents.

He’d told Amanda and Sarah and various other advisors. 

He’d told several of his closest friends from home – most of who had no idea he was anything other than as straight as they came. That was how close to his chest he’d kept it over the years. The thought made Lee – with his incredibly accepting family and support network – want to cry.

He’d told Peter and Fran and Philippa, though that had happened by chance.

He’d been absent-mindedly using Lee’s laptop when the Skype call had come through, and he’d answered it without thinking, only to be met with a trio of very confused faces.

“Richard? Pete, what – you said – did you call him by accident? Sorry, Richard, we must have clicked on the wrong person. We were looking for Lee.”

Lee was only a couple of feet away, sitting at the other end of the couch, and frozen in shock. There were two ways that this could pan out: Richard could act as though it was their mistake, end the call, and pass the laptop to Lee, who could answer when they rang again. Or he could –

“Yeah, he’s right here,” he said casually, scooting down the couch and tilting the screen until Lee appeared in the frame.

“Hi, Pete – Phil, Fran,” Lee greeted them, but they weren’t interested in him in the slightest, their eyes glued to Richard and Richard alone as they tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Are you on holiday, Richard?”

“Hmm,” Richard hummed thoughtfully, a wide grin spreading over his face, “no, not exactly.” And he shifted in his seat, reaching one arm around Lee’s shoulders in a move that was unequivocal to say the least. Just in case they didn’t understand, though – just in case they were literally the three densest people on the planet – he took it a step further, leaning in to press a kiss to Lee’s cheek. And Lee, well – he couldn’t help but smile too, an automatic reaction, tilting his face towards Richard’s, the warmth in his chest distracting him for a few seconds from the fact that the two of them weren’t alone and this was no ordinary cheek kiss.

When he looked back at the screen, though, three stunned, speechless faces were peering back at them, and it was a few very long seconds before Phil managed to speak.

“Well, this is a surprise.”

It was that moment, more than any other to date – that reaction, that complete and utter astonishment – that had driven home just how convincing a show they’d managed to put on for everyone, including the three people whose business it was to know literally everything that went on at Stone St.

“Have you two been making script changes without telling me again?” Peter asked her and Fran before turning back to Lee and Richard. “You did get the memo about how you’re supposed to be sworn enemies, right? I seem to recall that we discussed it once or twice…”

That was an understatement if ever there was one: Lee knew that both he and Richard had spent a lot of time discussing their characters’ back stories around Peter and Fran’s dining table, each getting their heads around the deep resentment that they held for the other’s race.

“Once or twice,” Richard agreed with a grin, “and I know Aidan’s the one who’s meant to go all gooey-eyed over an elf, but… Opposites attract?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say you’re opposites at all,” Fran responded, her gaze flickering between them almost analytically, “I’d just never really considered how much you have in common until now.”

It was an insightful comment – then again, that was Fran all over, keeping to herself in the background and quietly absorbing details about people and their personalities – and one that Richard appeared to appreciate, judging by the way his body relaxed, his spine losing some of the tense rigidity that Lee had barely registered until it was gone. As casually as he’d been behaving, this was a huge deal for him – Lee had tried not to let himself think about the consequences for their relationship if Peter, Fran and Phil hadn’t approved, but they would have been catastrophic.

It was the greatest of blessings, then, that they weren’t immediately opposed to – appalled by, even – the idea of the two of them being together; quite to the contrary, in fact, if the open affection on their faces was any indication. 

“So – where are you at the moment? London? New York?”

“New York – Lee’s place.”

“ _Our_ place,” Lee corrected, unable to help himself, because fuck if he didn’t love the way that sounded – and Richard shared that view, if the way that he turned to Lee with a faint blush and adoring smile was anything to go by, “he turned up with a couple of suitcases one day and I haven’t been able to get him to leave since.”

Lee couldn’t remember when he started thinking of the apartment as theirs, but it had happened swiftly, and now he could barely imagine how empty it would be without Richard’s vast array of shirts in the wardrobe, his violently bright socks spilling out of their drawer (the eye-watering colours and patterns that Richard favoured meant that they never got their socks mixed up, but it also meant that he would laughingly confront Lee on the odd occasion that he did steal a pair), his books piled on the bedside table, his toothbrush in the bathroom – and, most importantly, the man himself, lounging around like he’d never belonged anywhere else.

“Please,” Richard responded, clearly not taking the slightest offence at his teasing, “you love having a grumpy flatmate who leaves his things everywhere and steals all the blankets in the night.”

“It’s true,” Lee conceded, unable to resist reaching over for a quick ruffle of Richard’s hair – and he didn’t duck away like Lee had half-expected him to, instead offering up a fond (if slightly exasperated) smile, one that Lee so rarely saw in the company of others, “plus, you bring me breakfast in bed, so I really can’t complain at all.”

Richard’s expression didn’t falter, but Lee knew that he too was thinking of how those breakfasts in bed usually ended (or, sometimes, how they began): with lazy morning kisses, Richard’s knees planted into the mattress and bracketing Lee’s hips, Lee’s fingers splayed wide and his hands trailing over every bump and curve of Richard’s back and shoulders; with Richard disappearing under the blankets and spreading Lee’s legs wide, holding him in place as he licked and sucked and swallowed, his pace deliberately slow, like he was in absolutely no hurry for Lee to come and just wanted him to enjoy the moment – which he did, needless to say, the resulting orgasm frequently leaving him so dozy and sated that he would drift off again as soon as Richard had cuddled back up to him, pressing an affectionate kiss to his forehead and refusing to let him reciprocate for the time being because, as he would say, “I just wanted to do that for you, love.”

(He wondered if Richard was going to get him back for making the subtle reference later, and concluded that he wouldn’t really mind at all if he did.)

Pete, Fran and Phil, meanwhile, were just sitting there and watching their banter curiously and, it had to be said, more than a little indulgently.

“Well,” Fran said, “I think I speak for the three of us when I say I’m absolutely thrilled for both of you.” Her words prompted nodding from Phil and Peter, and Lee didn’t need to look at Richard to know that he was beaming, not making any effort to hide his emotions – not this time. “You’re beautiful together, and we look forward to prying all the details out of you when you get back.”

“Thank you, Fran,” Richard said softly, “that means a lot.”

Not until the day that Richard felt comfortable disclosing the details of the origins of their relationship, the internal battles he’d been fighting since Lee’s arrival in Wellington, would she understand quite how much.

“Do the rest of the cast know?”

“They don’t,” Richard said, “so we would appreciate it if you would keep it to yourselves for now. We will tell them, of course, but…”

“Whenever you’re ready,” Fran acknowledged, “and in the meantime, we won’t say a word.”

“Thank you,” Richard repeated, even more emphatically this time, the relief emanating from him so tangible that Lee thought he could have reached out and touched it.

“Speaking of when we get back, though,” Lee interjected (because while he didn’t mind sharing the existence of their relationship with the people who were arguably responsible for bringing them together in the first place, he knew that there was a limit to how much Richard could comfortably say before getting overwhelmed, and worried that they would reach it if the conversation continued), “what was it that you actually called to talk to me about?”

“You – oh. Right,” Peter sputtered, shaking his head as if to dislodge his confusion and remember the reason that they had wanted to speak to him in the first place. It took a few seconds (during which Richard bumped his knee against Lee’s and laced their fingers together and squeezed, not bothering to stifle his amused smile) but eventually he found his original train of thought again, the conversation veering back to filming and Wellington and all manner of logistical matters. Even so, it was obvious that the trio were paying very close attention to Lee and Richard as they talked, as though they were still trying to make sense of the unexpected turn that the call had taken at its outset.

It wasn’t until the very end that Peter brought up the relationship explicitly again – this time, wearing his director’s hat and making a professional request.

“Just – make sure you leave it outside the studio, right? As happy as we are for you – and we really are thrilled, just as Fran said earlier – we can’t have Thorin and Thranduil looking as lovesick as you two do right now.”

It was a fair call, and Lee would have just acknowledged the concern with a grin, but – 

“Pete,” Richard said, his relaxed tone belying the magnitude of the imminent confession, “have you ever noticed any issues on that front before?”

“No,” he frowned, “but you – you weren’t…” A long, bewildered pause. Fran and Phil started to smile again. “Were you?”

“We were.”

(And Richard had admitted, without any prompting whatsoever – after the phone call, after he’d pushed the laptop away and let Lee cuddle up to him and indulged him in a long lazy afternoon make out session – that telling the three of them had felt, in his own words, “really fucking liberating.”)

And now that they were back, Richard was apparently ready to fulfil his obligation to the rest of the cast, too – or at least to hint at the relationship in such a way that they would find out sooner or later. Making a comment like the one he’d let slip minutes before to someone as perennially nosy as Martin was a red rag to a bull. Richard knew that. And that meant he was ready to broadcast the fact that he and Lee were in love, not just to the people around the table but to everyone at Stone St.

(If someone had told Lee, even six months previously, that he would be in this position now, he would have laughed just to keep the wistful look off his face.)

But their colleagues’ failure to notice the relationship as a whole during principal photography, however, didn’t stop them from registering some of the finer details of Richard’s appearance today (making Lee extremely grateful for the previous ‘no biting’ rule, the undoing of which would clearly have spelled the end for their secret trysts) – such as, apparently, the rather distinctive marks on the prominent bones in his wrists.

“Did anyone see his wrists?” Luke asked, leaning in so close and speaking so quietly that Lee had to strain to hear him.

“What about them?” Adam replied innocently, a little frown creasing his forehead like he was trying to remember the detail.

“They’re all… _bruised,_ like – well, you know.”

“Like he’d been tied up,” Martin said candidly with a roll of his eyes, “so what? Maybe he likes it. It’s not as though it’s unheard of.”

“I suppose that settles the question of whether he was being serious about all this great sex, then.”

Lee tried really, really hard not to laugh at the expressions on everyone’s faces – especially Adam, who looked like he was struggling to digest the concept. They were a mix of astonished and appalled – maybe it was the thought of Thorin, their trusted leader, asking someone to restrain him bodily and then fuck him senseless.

Martin seemed the least surprised of everyone, though – what got him instead was the rest of the group’s reactions.

“Christ, I didn’t pick you gentlemen to be so vanilla – especially not you two,” he added, with a pointed look at Dean and Aidan (both of whom were suddenly very interested in their drinks), “don’t tell me you haven’t got up to any kinky shit in those trailers of yours.”

“We –”

“No, what did I just say? _Don’t_ tell me. I don’t want to know specifics, for God’s sake, not when we’re about to start shooting again.”

Dean was flushing scarlet – a brighter shade than anyone had ever seen him, undeniably the colour of guilt – and while the rest of the table was distracted, Lee pulled out his phone, still mulling over the contents of the conversation.

The inference that everyone had drawn so freely from the darkening bruises adorning Richard’s wrists – it wasn’t right.

Well, not exactly.

Maybe Lee had been a little forceful.

But Richard had certainly seemed to like it. No, scratch that – he _had_ liked it. He’d fucking _loved_ it. (His reactions, in fact, were something that Lee was going to ponder for some time, with a view to replicating them at home over and over again.)

And that conclusion was only reinforced by the text that was waiting for Lee when he checked his phone.

_New message: Rich  
I can’t stop thinking about how good your fingers felt inside me this morning._

Lee choked, hastily turning the sound into a cough and taking a long sip of his drink (even if there was only really melted ice left in the bottom of the glass, it was better than nothing) until everyone turned away from him and back to Dean. Luke was leading the interrogation into just what he and Aidan got up to in their downtime, and Martin was covering Adam’s ears while wearing an expression that was somehow both inquisitive and hilariously reproachful.

_Reply to: Rich  
You can’t send me messages like that when I’m sitting with the rest of the cast._

_Reply to: Rich  
They’ve all been speculating wildly about who you’re sleeping with, by the way._

_New message: Rich  
Good. Let them. And as for your first message – we could always sneak off to the bathroom… I wouldn’t mind a repeat of this morning._

Of course, as soon as he’d seen Richard’s first message, the morning had been all he could think about.

“Come on,” Richard had coaxed, propping himself up on one elbow in bed and nipping at Lee’s shoulder, “one more for the road.”

“Jesus, Rich,” Lee groaned, eyes still closed, “I honestly don’t think I can. You’ve worn me out.”

They’d quite literally been up all night, only snatching a couple of hours’ sleep once the sky had already started to lighten. Richard had been able to coax more orgasms out of him than he’d thought possible (at least, since he’d been a kid in his late teens and early twenties and first exploring this exciting new realm) and each one left him more shattered than the last – the same kind of bone-deep exhaustion that he usually felt after a particularly physical day of shooting, but a hundred times more intense. He was fairly sure that he wouldn’t be able to get it up again if his life depended on it.

“Please,” Richard wheedled, “I haven’t seen you for so long. Here –”

He reached for Lee’s hand, guiding it between his legs, a breath escaping from between his teeth and a shudder racing up the length of his spine as Lee’s fingertips made contact with his cock. Sure enough, it was hard – again – and clearly raring to go. A speedy hand job normally wouldn’t be beyond the realm of possibility, but every muscle in Lee’s body was aching and he was so goddamn tired – surely they could just wait until tonight?

“No, come on,” he told Richard sternly as he withdrew his hand, “it’s time for a shower. Remember, the others don’t know you’re here yet.”

“Yeah, and a couple of back to back long haul flights are the perfect excuse for me to look groggy and exhausted.”

“Rich, you don’t look groggy and exhausted. You look ridiculously happy.”

“Yeah?” His grin grew. He really did look the picture of health – eyes bright and cheeks flushed and that huge, gorgeous smile – such a stark contrast to just a few months ago, the last time they were together with the rest of the cast in earshot. Lee had spent a long time since then dwelling on how miserable and unwell Richard had looked when he found him in the hotel hallway, trying to punch a hole through the wall because he couldn’t get Lee’s key card to work – and then that confession, god, that he couldn’t sleep without Lee anymore. (Lee had struggled too, had admitted as much later, but he hadn’t worn the consequences across his face in quite the same way.) And now look at him – so happy, so comfortable in his own skin. It thrilled Lee to his core.

“Well, maybe you should use our time in the shower to tire me out a bit more…” he suggested pointedly, pressing a cheeky kiss to the tip of Lee’s nose before jumping out of bed and heading for the bathroom, moving far too energetically considering how little sleep he’d had. He really did have a delectable ass, though, Lee thought dreamily, unable to keep from laughing out loud at the way Richard was swinging his hips exaggeratedly and looking over his shoulder in an attempt to be seductive.

But perhaps even more distracting than the sight of his ass itself was the sight of the darkening bruises scattered over it. He didn’t get a chance to check Richard’s arms and shoulders and neck again before he disappeared, but he knew that they were bearing their own marks, a testament to the previous night.

He heard Richard turn the water on and the gentle click of the shower door closing and flopped back onto the pillows again, his mind helpfully producing a flood of memories of the last several hours for him to reconsider.

There was just something about having Richard bent over like he had been last night, feet on the floor and hands clenching the edge of the bed while Lee fucked him relentlessly. He been rougher than usual – apparently the quickie on the couch had set the tone for the rest of the night – but damn, Richard had lapped it up, urging him on in every way he could. The loud moan that had burst out of him when Lee first dug his fingers into his hips, really quite forcefully, had lit something inside both of them that had shown no signs of being extinguished. So Lee had squeezed harder, using his grip to control the pace completely, pulling Richard towards his hips and then easing him off again until they were both panting harshly.

And then Lee had caved, bracing himself on the bed with one hand and leaning forward to kiss and lick and suck at the curve of Richard’s neck and the swell of his shoulder before nipping at the sweat-slick skin, first teasingly and then not teasingly at all. Richard twisted underneath him, his moaning at the bites interspersed with the filthiest words Lee could come up with when his brain was barely functioning, so preoccupied with Richard’s sinuous hips and the way he was clenching around Lee’s cock, and…

And that had only been the _beginning._

Lee opened his eyes, surprised – or maybe not surprised at all – to find that his hands were squeezed into fists and his heart rate had doubled, beating a frantic rhythm against his ribs.

Oh, fuck it.

Maybe he did have another round in him, after all.

But – did he want to give Richard the satisfaction of knowing that his little swaying walk to the bathroom had got him going (safe in the knowledge that he would probably literally pass out afterwards, resulting in a lot of awkward questions from the rest of the cast when he finally resurfaced), or did he want to torment him?

There was really only one answer to that question.

So he got up, reaching for the little travel-sized tube lying on the bedside table (he would really have to sort things out on that front once they got back to Wellington – they were running perilously low) and groaning at the all-over ache that always arrived the morning after particularly athletic sex with Richard. But the bathroom was only a few paces away, and the heat would relax his muscles – plus, the shower cubicle currently contained a very naked and very wet Richard and really, that was all the incentive he needed.

Richard was standing under the showerhead with his face turned into the spray, his hair a black slick that suggested it had already been washed, contrasting nicely with both his pale skin and the purple-red patches marking it. He didn’t move but hummed a happy little sound as Lee joined him in the shower, stashing his supplies before resting his chin on Richard’s shoulder.

“Good of you to finally get moving,” he teased, grinning at the reproachful pinch he got from Lee in return, “now – are you going to give me a proper good morning?”

Lee pointedly ignored the request. “God, it’s hot in here.” Richard had turned the temperature up to an almost painful level, steam billowing in the shower cubicle and ghosting over the glass walls to fog up the mirror.

“All the better for another round,” Richard replied with a smirk, turning around to face him, winding his arms around Lee’s neck and pressing their hips flush against each other, his hard cock trapped between their stomachs. Thankfully, he was so focused on Lee that he hadn’t noticed the little tube that had joined them in the shower, perched innocuously on the shelf behind the shampoo and conditioner. “Come on, I’m sure we could make it even hotter – what do you say?”

“I say that I don’t think we have time, because you need to make yourself look like you’ve only just arrived and,” he added mischievously, “I still need to wash off the rest of your come after last night.”

Richard’s still-hard cock twitched at the explicit reminder. They’d worn themselves out too much to drag themselves to the shower at the time, opting to wipe down their sticky bodies as best they could with tissues and leave the rest until morning (and look forward to housekeeping replacing the damp sheets with crisp new ones that didn’t smell of sweat and sex, only for them to be sullied all over again).

“Damn it, Lee,” he groaned with a pleading expression, “you can’t just say things like that to me and not follow through.”

“I can if we’re going to be late.”

“But baby,” Richard whined, pulling out the term of endearment he tended to only use when he was particularly desperate (which, in turn, was at least partly because he knew how much hearing him say it revved Lee up at times like these), “I need you so bad.”

But Lee didn’t bite – instead, he kept his face as straight as he could. “Turn around,” he suggested, “and I’ll scrub your back.”

Richard did so obediently – even if he was exuding dissatisfaction so palpable that Lee could practically see it rolling off him – facing the wall and waiting. He was expecting to hear the click of the shower gel lid, which was why he didn’t realise that he wasn’t going to be getting what he’d been promised until Lee had pushed him forcefully against the wall, his back to Lee’s chest and front hard up against the ceramic tiles.

“What – fuck, Lee, that’s freezing,” he complained, “call this a back scrub?”

“I might have misrepresented it slightly,” he murmured, hot in Richard’s ear, and felt all the tension and irritation at the chilly surprise drain away.

“You little shit,” Richard laughed, “pretending you were too tired to – ah, _damn.”_

Lee hadn’t given him any warning before dipping the tip of his first finger in, slippery with the lube he’d smuggled into the shower stall.

“Stay still,” he ordered, “and tell me what you want.”

_“More.”_

He increased the pressure a fraction, slipping in up to the second knuckle and then stopping. “Like that? Is that enough?”

Richard exhaled shakily but, bless him, stayed still like he’d been told, his forehead resting against the tiles. His neck was as tempting as always, and he whimpered as Lee flicked his tongue over one of the exposed tendons, feeling his own cock start to stiffen again despite his exhaustion. 

“It’s not enough,” he gasped, sighing in relief when Lee pushed the rest of the way in, swivelling with gentle little movements that he knew Richard would find wholly unsatisfying. But he’d told Richard that he wanted instruction, and wasn’t going to do anything more until he was asked.

It didn’t take long.

“Lee,” he whined, “another – I need another.”

“Another what?”

“Please put another finger in me,” he ground out through gritted teeth, and Lee smothered his triumphant smirk in the wet skin of his neck, withdrawing his finger to add another squeeze of lube.

The second went in just as easily as the first (which wasn’t really a surprise, not considering what they’d been up to just a few hours before) and this time he didn’t mess around, settling into a steady pattern of twists and curls he knew could well end in Richard’s undoing if he kept it up.

And sure enough –

“God _damn,_ Lee,” he breathed, one hand snaking down to wrap around his neglected cock.

But when Lee had first imagined this scene, Richard jerking himself off had played no part in it whatsoever.

“No – that’s not how we’re doing this.” He grabbed Richard’s right hand, guiding it to the wall above his head and pressing it against the tiles before reaching for the left. Richard gave a little whine as Lee’s fingers closed around his wrists, hands pinned atop each other, and then another as one fingertip pressed directly against his prostate for the first time.

“Lee –”

“You’re not allowed to touch yourself,” Lee breathed with another cruel twist of his wrist, grinning at the choked little gasp the movement earned. “You’re going to come on my fingers, or not at all. Got it?”

“Christ,” Richard panted, canting his hips backwards for a harder, deeper press, “okay, okay. But – one more?”

“Say please.”

“ _Please,_ Lee, fucking hell, please give me three fingers, I need it so fucking badly.”

“Damn, I love it when you use your manners,” he breathed, pushing the third finger in with no warning and resuming the rotations of his wrist. He didn’t give in to Richard’s whispered pleas but deliberately avoided his prostate, save for the occasional swipe at unpredictable intervals. He maintained his firm grip on his wrists, squeezing every so often after he discovered that the pressure made Richard choke on the needy little whimpers that kept escaping his mouth.

Lee didn’t doubt that Richard was going to get off like this, without either of them paying any attention to his cock at all. The first time he’d managed it had been a surprise for both of them, but the noises he’d wrung out of Richard in the process (and the way that he’d pretty much blacked out from pleasure immediately afterwards) had left them both anxious to experiment some more – and experiment they had.

Regardless, Lee was in no hurry to speed things along. He made sure to touch Richard in all the ways that made him writhe, but avoided everything that he knew would make him come, doing just enough to hold him back from the edge, just so he could torment him a little longer.

“You know what else I love?” he asked idly, slowing his movements and waiting for Richard to grunt out a response. “I love that hotels have a never-ending supply of hot water. You know why?”

“Hngh,” Richard replied, eyes still closed as he chased Lee’s previous rhythm, but to no avail.

“It means I have absolutely no incentive to speed this along. I could literally keep you here and do this for hours,” he mused thoughtfully, “would you like that?”

“Oh, god,” Richard moaned. Lee wasn’t sure if it was a yes or a no, but was definitely appreciating his struggle to articulate anything.

“Alternatively, I could stop now,” he added, doing just that, withdrawing his fingers completely and enjoying the distressed sound – almost a wail – that it earned, “and we could get out of the shower and get dressed and go and spend time with the others. You could spend the whole day thinking about how desperately you need to come but knowing that you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it until tonight. How about that?”

This time, Richard didn’t answer in words or anything else audible, instead twisting his neck and torso at what had to be an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable angle to semi-face Lee and crush their lips together.

Somehow he dominated the kiss, despite the fact that he was still trapped in place, pushing his tongue into Lee’s mouth with a muffled groan. It was desperate and frenzied and wet, their skin slippery from the shower and hell, Richard was clearly ready – not to mention dying for it – and there was nothing stopping Lee from letting his arms go and grabbing his hips and filling him with his cock and fucking him just like this, chest to spine, hard and deliberate, seeing how loud he could get him to shout when he came.

Yes, he could do that. He could do all of that.

But he wouldn’t.

Not this time, anyway. (Tonight was another story, but he wouldn’t dwell on that now.)

So he broke the kiss, shifting to keep his mouth out of Richard’s reach, ignoring the protesting noise it earned – a noise that died in Richard’s throat as Lee pressed him forcefully against the wall again, every inch of him touching the long-since-warmed tiles.

“Lee,” he whimpered, “I need you.”

“Beg me,” Lee demanded, surprised by the harshness in his own voice – and he wasn’t the only one, judging by the shudder he felt ripple through Richard at his words, “I’m not going to do anything until you ask for it.”

There was a certain threshold that Richard had to reach before the thought of dirty talk didn’t make him baulk. Lee had spent a lot of time gauging exactly where that threshold was, and even more time working on lowering it. By any measurement, though, the flush on Richard’s face and the desperate look in his eyes told Lee that they’d crossed the line a long time ago.

And when Richard did manage to get the words out, his voice was low – lower than Thorin’s, lower than Lee had ever heard it – and goddamn, never before had the mere sound of someone speaking got him so hot. It sent a needy spasm through his gut, so intense that his legs nearly gave out beneath him, and he had to close his eyes for a second and focus before he ended up reassessing his decision not to just fuck Richard like this right now.

“Fuck, Lee, please, I want your fingers back inside me, and I want you to fuck me with them, nice and hard and as deep as you can, and I want you to make me come harder than I ever have in my life.”

Fucking _hell._

Lee’s hands shook as he reached for the lube, coating his fingers again before sliding them inside in one steady movement. Richard gave a relieved little sigh at the intrusion, but kept his head twisted around and his eyes firmly fixed on Lee’s as he started to move, setting up a faster rhythm than before.

“Like this? Is this what you need?”

“God, yeah, like that, you feel so good, your fingers are amazing, more, please, give me more.”

He was panting harshly, the sound audible even over the spray of the shower – but those pants turned into cries that bounced off the bathroom walls as Lee rubbed the pad of one finger over his prostate.

“You like it when I touch you there, yeah?” he murmured, leaning forward to suck on the exposed bump of Richard’s spine at the base of his neck, letting the skin purple further before moving north and biting down on the next protruding bone. Richard bowed his head, letting his forehead rest against the wall again and displaying his neck for more attention.

“Shit – yeah, Lee, there, just there – _ungh.”_

He stopped his movements, then, of course – he was going to make this last as long as he could, and he knew that as soon as he started paying attention to that particular spot in any prolonged way, it would be game over in less than a minute. So he pushed his fingers in deeper, spreading them to scissor Richard open in harsh, deliberate movements that had him whining and pushing mindlessly back against his hand.

“Fuck, baby, just like that, nice and deep,” Richard gasped, tilting his head back in the hopes of another kiss to speed things along, his cheeks flushed and eyes dark and everything about him so goddamn depraved, not least the words spilling out of his mouth. “God, you could do me like this every day, and I would love it.”

“Jesus, Rich,” Lee groaned, suddenly acutely aware of his own aching cock, which he’d been ignoring as he concentrated on getting Richard off. And he had thought he didn’t have another round in him; clearly it had very different ideas. Richard’s dirty mouth was certainly having a significant influence. But no – not this time. He could wait. He knew full well that drawing things out with Richard had its benefits – the explosive orgasm that he was heading towards would be reward enough for Lee. (Besides – just as he’d thought before he’d entered the bathroom, and just as he had to keep reminding himself – he was fairly sure that he would spend the rest of the day unable to move if he let himself come again without taking more time to recover from the night before, and given how he’d declined to join the others for dinner, he definitely couldn’t pass any absence today off as alcohol-induced.)

“God, I fucking love the way you touch me,” Richard continued mindlessly, his hips twitching of their own accord, and Lee smothered his pleased little sigh in the soft, steam-damp skin at the crook of his neck. Getting Richard to the point where the words just poured out unconsciously always felt like an achievement, and coupled with that gravelly tone that Lee had literally never heard him use before… well, it was a turn on like nothing else.

So it was only fair that he reciprocated.

“Yeah, and I fucking love watching you ride my fingers – you have no idea how hot you look like this, all desperate and needy and dying for me to let you come,” he murmured, mouth to Richard’s ear, pleased with the whimper his words earned. The fingers in question started to move in deep, grinding circles, skimming Richard’s prostate on every other rotation. Richard’s hands would twitch every so often, like he was dying to break free from Lee’s grip and push himself over the edge. He was mostly managing to hold himself back – but every time he moved his hands at all, Lee would press down a little harder. He was probably going to leave marks on Richard’s wrists (the rest of Richard’s bruises were unlikely to be visible under his clothes, but these were going to end up in a different category altogether) – and yet he didn’t care at all, and Richard clearly didn’t either.

“Please,” he gasped, rocking frantically back against his hand, starting to take over and drive the pace himself. And Lee couldn’t help it – he had to let him. There was something incredibly arousing about watching Richard get himself off on Lee’s fingers, like they were just a tool for his own pleasure, his hips swivelling as he desperately sought contact with his prostate and a sob sticking in his throat as he found it again.

“There,” he yelped, “right there, right there, touch me there.”

So Lee did.

He could practically see Richard’s orgasm coiling in his gut, his body slowly curling in on itself in desperation. His breaths were shallow and needy (just hovering on the edge of hyperventilation) and Lee could feel his hands trembling where they were pressed against the wall.

“Please don’t stop,” he gasped, “I need – oh, god, I’m gonna –”

And finally, Lee took pity on him – and, just like he’d thought, it didn’t take long to push him over the edge.

“Oh fuck – oh fuck – Lee – fuck, fuck, _fuck_ –”

The groan Richard let out as he came was probably loud enough to wake the entire floor, and was the deepest sound Lee had ever heard a person make, like it had been wrenched from somewhere deep in his chest. His whole body jerked like a fish on a line, his back flexing and arching as Lee’s fingers continued their merciless rhythm, wringing out every last spasm and gasp until he was drooping against the wall and fighting for breath.

“Christ almighty,” he managed, the words coming out thick and slow like molasses, “that was unbelievable. Thank you. Fucking hell. You’re amazing. I love you. God.”

“You’re welcome – and I love you, too,” Lee grinned, letting go of his wrists with one last deliberate squeeze, and turning him around so they were face to face. He loved Richard’s post-orgasm haze – he could always measure how good the sex had been by how incoherent he was afterwards – and the sight of his tired, flickering eyelids and half-open mouth told him everything he needed to know.

“Lee?”

“Hmm?”

Richard dug his fingers into his shoulders in warning. “I need you to hold me up, because otherwise I think I’m going to pass out.”

Lee knew that this, too, was a sign that he had done particularly well – so he hoisted Richard’s legs up, letting him wrap them around his waist, and supported his weight, pressing his back to the shower wall as he leaned in to taste Richard’s mouth, slow and relaxing and more an exchange of breath and the occasional brush of lips than anything else.

Just as enjoyable as the wet, lazy embrace was the intense pride and satisfaction sweeping over him.

“Don’t gloat,” Richard murmured, clearly able to tell that he was smiling without even opening his eyes, “it’s unbecoming.”

They stood like that for a few long minutes, Richard resting his chin on Lee’s shoulder and idly stroking his biceps with his fingertips. If they’d been doing this at home, the shower would have been like ice by now – but sure enough, the hotel’s endless hot water supply meant the spray was as hot as if it had only just been turned on. Lee closed his eyes too, and savoured the warmth – both that of the water and Richard’s body, pressed to his in the way that he’d missed so desperately for the last month – until Richard stirred again, tilting his head to mouth gently at every inch of Lee’s shoulder and neck that he could reach. Contented little humming noises kept escaping from his throat until he shifted slightly, the wordless motion that Lee knew meant he was ready to stand on his own two feet again.

“Are you okay?” he asked, setting him down and watching the way his legs wobbled like a newborn calf’s. Richard didn’t answer the question – but, then again, he didn’t really need to.

“Christ,” he repeated, exhaling in what could only be described as intense satisfaction, “that really was something else.”

“Glad to hear it,” Lee responded, keeping a straight face but mentally high-fiving himself as he reached for the shampoo – now that he’d achieved his initial goal, he still had to get clean and ready for the day ahead of them.

“In fact,” Richard added, wrapping an arm around Lee’s waist and giving his still-hard cock a single teasing squeeze with his free hand, snickering as Lee dropped the bottle in surprise, “I think I’m going to have to thank you tonight. Possibly more than once.”

The promise in his voice had been positively sinful.

And – yes, Lee was hard again just thinking about it.

_Reply to: Rich  
Damn it, Rich, you know full well what it does to me when you say things like that. _

_New message: Rich  
Pot, kettle, etc. Besides, you love it (and me)._

_Reply to: Rich  
Yeah, you big goof, I do. Now stop hiding at the bar – come back and face the music._

“Who’s Lee texting?” Luke asked, everyone’s heads swivelling to look at him, and he had to fight desperately hard both to not blush and to blank out the mental image of a hot, wet, naked Richard pressed against the shower wall.

“My sister,” he shrugged, keeping his face carefully neutral, “just asking what we’re up to, since I mentioned that we were all catching up in Auckland.”

“Anyway,” Martin brayed, mercifully reclaiming everyone’s attention, “does anyone have any ideas about this mystery romance?”

They didn’t.

“What’s wrong with you people?” he complained, disappointed. “Has no one seen him since December?”

No one had.

No one except Lee, who’d woken up next to him almost every morning.

“Right, well. My challenge to you – all of you, so tell the others,” he added, looking around their end of the table solemnly, “is to work out who it is. I have to know. It’s going to drive me insane otherwise. But be subtle about it, for the love of Christ. And once we’ve confirmed it, the next time we go out, drinks for the first person to have figured it out are on me.” 

Leave it to Martin to provide an incentive like that. Free booze would never not get them all going. Lee resolved to not only report this discussion back to Richard but to brainstorm ways for them to be even subtler – the fact that Richard had walked away in the middle of the conversation meant that he still wasn’t ready to disclose the identity of the person he was sleeping with, after all. Sneaking around when no one knew there was anything to observe was one thing, but doing so with more than fifteen or so pairs of eyes on Richard at one time was most definitely another.

“Shouldn’t we just leave him be?” Adam – of course it was Adam – asked tentatively. “I mean, it’s not really any of our business. He’d tell us if he wanted to, wouldn’t he?”

“Right, let’s have a show of hands,” Luke butted in, clearly not thrilled with the morality of the suggestion. “All those in favour of letting him keep it to himself?”

Adam’s was a lonely raised hand.

“And all those in favour of prying it out of him as soon as possible?”

Everyone else’s shot up (Martin raised two), including Lee’s. No doubt they would notice if he abstained from the vote. Aidan and Dean looked particularly pleased – they were, no doubt, keen to have the attention not focused on them and their relationship for once.

“So that’s settled,” Martin said happily, “may the best detective win. We should – oh, shit, he’s coming back, look casual. How about the weather in New York, Lee?”

Lee had to tamp down a laugh at the incredibly unsubtle change of topic, but launched into a nuanced monologue about summer in New York anyway, enjoying the way that his audience was forced to look interested so as to not give the game away as Richard returned, followed by a waiter balancing a precariously full tray of drinks.

Richard slid back into his seat, casually adjusting his scarf as he did so – the scarf that he’d been forced to wear, even though it was warm (almost too warm) in the restaurant, because Lee might have gone a little overboard in the shower and it was possible that there was a pearl of a bruise at the top of his spine, just above the collar of his shirt, that still bore the indentations of Lee’s teeth.

And he was still wearing that telling expression – bright-eyed and well-fucked – but tinged with a hint of mischief as he stretched out to nudge Lee’s foot teasingly under the table as his new Coke was set down in front of him.

Lee bit his tongue and stared down at his plate to stifle his smile.

“So, Richard,” Luke brayed, as soon as the waiter had disappeared, the volume of his voice effectively putting an end to all other conversations, “are you going to tell us who you’re banging?”

There was a short, stunned silence, the group’s eyes collectively swivelling to Luke, then to Richard, then back again.

Martin sighed in resignation. “I thought we were going to be subtle about this.”

Richard, at least, had the good grace to laugh – and, Lee mused, didn’t look anywhere near as horrified as he might have expected. He wasn’t blushing, he wasn’t trying to change the topic, he wasn’t looking like he was going to be sick with terror as his long-held views about how wrong it was to be in love with another man clogged his chest and his throat.

God, things really had changed if he could at least come across as amused by this line of questioning, this direct a confrontation.

It was his response, though, that was the real stunner.

“Guess,” he suggested, idle as you please, like this wasn’t the _biggest fucking deal of his life,_ “and if you get it right, I’ll tell you. Yes or no questions only.”

Not only was he admitting to seeing someone, formally putting paid to any lingering suspicions that he’d been having them on, but he was very much suggesting that it would be okay if the rest of the cast knew who.

Earth-shattering.

Lee’s heart was beating so loudly that surely everyone at the table – hell, everyone in the restaurant – would be able to hear it. They would hear it, and they would know.

Then, of course, he realised that the best thing to do to avoid suspicion would be to kick off the questioning himself.

So he did.

“Is it someone at this table?”

“Yes,” Richard said calmly, leaning back in his chair with another little twist of a smile that thankfully wasn’t directed at Lee so much as the group in general.

No one moved a muscle, and then –

“Oh, fuck off, Richard,” Martin complained, “you can’t say you want to play and then bullshit us.” He pointed an accusing finger across the table. “We have three months, we’ll weasel it out of you.”

They didn’t believe him.

Now, more than ever, Lee wanted to laugh – at the way that Martin was going to let this opportunity to find out the truth (and Lee didn’t underestimate how desperately he did want to know, the little gossip hound that he was) slip away from him, all because he thought that Richard was taking the piss when he really, really wasn’t. He couldn’t believe how straight-faced Richard still was, or how Martin had assumed he was lying – presumably because, well, almost everyone at the table was male.

“If you say so,” Richard responded easily, picking up his glass again and taking a leisurely swallow like he didn’t have a care in the world, while Lee did his best to tear his eyes away from the transfixing bob of his throat.

“Oh, I do say so. There’s absolutely no way you could have been sleeping with anyone last time we were here without everyone knowing about it. It’s impossible to keep a secret on set – and now we’ll all be watching you.” Martin pointed to his eyes and then to Richard, the universal Big Brother gesture, prompting laughter around the table before, mercifully, Adam – of course it was Adam – swooped in to change the topic.

But while everyone conceded – albeit with a few final suspicious glances at Richard, who was still looking incredibly relaxed, his foot nudging Lee’s under the table again and the faintest hint of a smirk on his lips – it was abundantly clear to Lee that this wasn’t the end of the matter. Richard had got the ball rolling, and there was only one way that this was going to end; sooner or later, everyone at Stone St would know that they were together.

Lee had no objections to that whatsoever, and maybe – finally, incredibly, just as he’d optimistically promised – Richard didn’t, either.


	2. Chapter 2

Lee spent the rest of the afternoon quietly reeling – there was no other way to describe it. As soon as there was the smallest lull in the conversation, he would immediately start analysing Richard’s comments again – and every time he did so, he would think of another little fragment of Richard’s past, each one only serving to hammer home just how astonishing this change in behaviour was.

He remembered clearly the night that all the details had come out – while it was still the early days of their relationship, it was nonetheless very definitely a relationship, and yet Richard still baulked at the idea of staying the night or sitting at the same table at lunch or behaving in a way that suggested that they knew each other as anything other than distant colleagues – because Richard had come over, rejected Lee’s offers of snacks, proceeded to slug back half a bottle of wine in an alarmingly short space of time, and then turned to him with a determined (if a little hazy) look on his face.

“Right, I think I’m drunk enough now.”

“Drunk enough to do what?”

“To be honest with you.” Richard leaned back on the couch, eyes half-closed, but the tone of his voice told Lee that not only was this a big deal but that it was something he’d spent a lot of time thinking about and preparing himself for. “You want to know why I can’t be with you? This is why.”

He’d told Lee all about Kit, the boy he’d met when they were both fifteen and at boarding school: his first proper kiss, his first boyfriend (even if they hadn’t put that label on it at the time), and his first love. Lee learned that cooping up a couple of hundred boys in the same space resulted in said boys getting inventive, and in Year 11 Richard had apparently been deemed old enough to join an underground little clique (their activities about as illicit as they could be for kids who had no way to access anything wilder than – well, than each other), discovering that a certain handicapped bathroom tended to be reserved for when two of them needed to let off some steam and come from a hand other than their own. There were strict rules in place – complete secrecy being the most important – and it was well accepted that engaging in this mutual masturbation definitely didn’t make any of the boys involved gay or attracted to each other in any way.

It was a world he’d subsequently begun to explore with Kit – a new student who had become one of his closest friends – on the same ‘mutual benefit’ basis as the others. He was acutely aware that he wasn’t meant to enjoy having another male body pressed close to his in the way that he did, but with Kit it was different again, and it took him a long time to acknowledge that the confused emotions he was experiencing were converging into his first official crush on a boy.

It was wrong, so wrong, all wrong – and yet the day that Kit sat him down and told him he liked him and kissed him for the first time, everything suddenly seemed to fall into place.

After that, there was no holding either of them back.

Richard’s parents didn’t find out about the relationship until more than a decade later, and even then he glossed over the detail, for obvious reasons: frantic kissing and touching and hands under clothes in every stolen moment they could find; searching the school for more abandoned corners where they could be together without the other boys finding out (because if they were seen coming out of the handicapped stall together too often, people would start to ask questions, and that would have been nothing short of catastrophic); Kit introducing him to oral sex, the single most exquisite sensation he’d ever felt in his life; even wrangling whole days home alone together at Richard’s house during the holidays where they could experiment, unhurriedly, and pretend for a short while that this freedom was permanent.

But Kit had had to leave the school suddenly: his family had moved to the area because his father had been transferred there on a short-term contract, but he hadn’t even been able to see that through before being transferred again. Richard had been blindsided by it – Kit had simply left, ostensibly for a long weekend, and had never come back. When Richard called his house to plead with him, however – irrationally hoping that there was something he could say that would make Kit stay – everything he had thought they had came crashing down around him.

And ever since that day, Kit’s parting words had been permanently seared into his memory.

“I can still hear his voice in my head, saying those spiteful things,” Richard murmured, “because I’ve repeated them to myself so many thousand times since then.”

_“Boys aren’t meant to do things like that with each other. It was disgusting and dirty and wrong, and I want to forget it ever happened.”_

Those devastatingly and unnecessarily cruel words – spoken in a harsh tone that had seemed to come from a complete stranger – changed Richard’s life forever.

Kit didn’t return to the school, and Richard had never heard from him again. Instead, he’d been left alone and heartbroken and with absolutely no one to talk to, because what they’d been doing was so very against the rules that if anyone found out there would be consequences. Not only did he not have Kit, he was left with an intense emotional attachment to a boy that went far, far beyond friendship.

Even at such a painfully tender age, he understood that that meant one thing and one thing only, and he hated himself for it.

Hearing Richard tell the story made Lee want to smack Kit – to do a whole lot more than that, actually – for the brutal way he’d approached the situation. But he did his best to keep that frustration in check as Richard spoke, not wanting to distract him when he clearly had so much more to say (the way that he’d settled into position indicating that he was in this for the long haul), reminding himself that Kit, too, had only been a kid. He was clearly undergoing some internal struggle himself – that was the only reason Lee could think of for such an about-turn in his behaviour, when he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off Richard previously. If he’d been more at peace with his own sexuality, he could easily have ended things with Richard on more amicable terms; he didn’t need to destroy him in the process. Besides, he wasn’t to know how deeply his words would cut Richard, or that Richard would hold onto them and let them colour and shape his relationships and his perception of himself for decades after the fact.

But he had. That much was painfully clear.

Kit was only the beginning – no matter what Richard had tried to tell himself, no matter how serious he got with girls at the sister school in his older years – and a few years later came Giorgio, the first man he ever slept with. Giorgio was a sinewy Italian trapeze artist in the circus he joined after leaving school, taking up a behind the scenes job and picking up a few tricks along the way. The circus was a safe and non-judgmental environment in which Richard could experiment, and he took to that freedom enthusiastically – and Giorgio was clearly a more than willing subject. Over time, though, the acrobatic sex had started to develop into more, at least from Richard’s perspective – but when he’d confessed his feelings to Giorgio, the man had baulked. He didn’t want a relationship, didn’t want the permanent label of being gay to attach, didn’t want anything except a physical release at the end of the day, and he’d thought that Richard felt the same. Richard was devastated, of course – he didn’t shy away from admitting as much to Lee – but had been determined to soldier on and try and squash his infatuation down. The damage had been done, however, and Giorgio was already cooling off – something that became even clearer when Richard walked in on him with the sword swallower.

“And no, the irony wasn’t lost on me, even though it took me a while to see the funny side,” he added, not seeming to mind the inappropriate laugh that burst out of Lee – even though he tried desperately to choke it back – at all.

It wasn’t until much later – the night that Richard had confessed to Lee that he’d fallen in love with him, to be precise – that Lee had realised that Richard had never said those three words to a man and had the man say them back. 

(Richard had looked terrified when they’d popped out of his mouth involuntarily, as he and Lee cuddled in the warm, peaceful afterglow of a great fuck, his fingers gently exploring the long since conquered territory of Lee’s shoulders and his nose nuzzling into the crook of Lee’s neck. They were astonishingly unexpected (to Richard, too, who almost looked like he wanted to take them back, so worried about how Lee would react, whether he would baulk, leaving Richard heartbroken and overly committed yet again), but far from unwelcome. While the phrase wasn’t one that Lee threw out freely by any means – reserving it for a very small handful of people in his life, and even then often struggling to say it out loud – he had concluded a long time ago that he was in love with Richard, and had only kept that fact to himself for fear of speaking too soon and scaring the man away. So he didn’t hesitate to reciprocate, and was slightly taken aback by how good it felt to do so, a faint heaviness in his chest that he’d barely noticed until now lightening and then disappearing completely. The absolute adoration – and yes, love – that had lit up Richard’s face in return, wiping away all traces of the acute vulnerability of a few seconds earlier, was Lee’s favourite look on him to date; and just as he cherished all of these quiet post-orgasm moments, this was clearly going to be one for the books. The significance of the exchange for Richard, in light of his past experiences, had only served to make the moment of the first “I love you” more precious, and the resulting sex (before Richard, Lee had shied away from referring to it as making love for fear of sounding pretentious, except this time – and so many times since – it really had been) more intense yet tender than anything Lee had ever experienced before.)

After Giorgio, Richard kept things as discreet and anonymous as he could, and only ventured over to the ‘dark side,’ as he put it, with a humourless little smile that made Lee want to hug him, when the pressure became too much to bear. But over time, he’d realised that needing that release wasn’t something that was ever going to go away – that it was a part of who he was, no matter how desperately he tried to keep it contained.

And sitting there on the couch, quietly absorbing Richard’s long monologue (he hadn’t made eye contact with Lee again, instead staring at the wall opposite them, like it was easier to pretend he wasn’t baring all his history and secrets to another person but rather to an empty room), it all started to make sense to Lee.

When Richard had finally come out to his parents, they weren’t exactly thrilled, and had thought – had continued to do so until a certain phone call just a few short months ago – that it was just a phase. It didn’t help that Matthew, his younger brother, was doing everything right: went to university, got a stable and appropriate job as a mortgage broker, bought a house (the right type of house, in the right postcode – Richard’s London apartment was too new, too spacious and unfriendly, not enough of a home), got married, and while he and his wife didn’t have children yet, it was only a matter of time. There was a very clear expectation that Richard, despite his unmentionable dalliances, would eventually see the light and follow in Matthew’s footsteps.

Richard had always felt like the outlier in his own family, and his sexual orientation had just been another nail in that coffin.

He’d got close, though, to the life he thought he was expected to have. He’d met Amelia by chance at a bar one night in London and somehow (so he said, with a self-deprecating little shrug) she’d taken a shine to him. They’d got as far as living together in a poky little flat – cosy, they’d called it at the time – but that too had ended, but with a whimper rather than a bang. She’d wanted to settle down and start making a family, he thought they were too young, neither of them was willing to compromise, and eventually they reached breaking point.

Richard’s parents had been devastated. They’d adored Amelia, and she’d adored them too (as far as Richard knew, they still sent each other Christmas cards) and, although they hadn’t said it at the time, they were disappointed in Richard for letting her go so easily – not least because of her gender. When he’d first told his parents he was seeing a woman and it was serious, they’d been relieved – concluding that they’d been right, that being attracted to men was something he’d grown out of. He’d never explained to them that while he loved Amelia (or Amy, as he called her, a nickname that no one else was ever allowed to use), and there were certainly never any problems in the bedroom department, there was always a tiny flickering doubt in the back of his mind, the feeling that something was missing, a whisper asking him – is this as good as it’s going to get?

A month after they broke up, he had his first one night stand – his first foray with a man – in more than four years. And while it was reckless and stupid and the man was gone when he woke up (leaving behind nothing but a used condom in the bin and the faint smell of an unfamiliar cologne and a stray shirt button, a casualty from the frantic pace at which they’d undressed each other and tumbled into bed), sleeping with him had only served to confirm everything that Richard had suspected.

This was what he wanted.

Richard had told Lee then – his tone growing even more reflective – that in his lonelier periods, he regretted the end of the relationship with Amy, and would wonder if his parents were onto something when they insisted on fondly calling her ‘the one that got away’ – a term they still used, even this far down the line. Marrying her would have been easy, he knew that much, and objectively, she was probably right for him – or, at least, she had been at the time. But it had been comfortable – too comfortable.

He didn’t elaborate any further at the time, but Lee came to understand the kind of love Richard was looking for: the one that blindsided its victims and left them breathless with happiness as they contemplated the way that everything had suddenly fallen into place, a glorious technicolour brilliance that illuminated every aspect of their lives. Richard wanted to wake up smiling every morning at the sheer delight in his life, to be unable to keep his hands off his lover even once they knew each other inside out, and even once the first flush had faded he wanted that intensity to remain. Lee didn’t doubt that he had that much love to give, and it pained him to know that he’d never found someone with whom he could share it all.

Then again, if he had, Lee wouldn’t be sitting there right now with the chance to claim Richard’s affections right in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” Richard said once he’d finally run out of steam, clearly having reached the end of his tale. “I know you didn’t sign up for all of this, but I only thought it fair that I explain to you sooner rather than later why I can’t give you what you want, rather than stringing you along without telling you the truth.”

“Hey,” Lee said, scooting closer and bumping their knees together (he’d kept the physical contact to a minimum as Richard talked, since he thought that it might do more harm than good, no matter how much he’d wanted to reach over and squeeze him and hold on for as long as he could, until Richard had to squirm away to breathe). He didn’t understand, not in the way he wished he could in that moment – how could he, when he had faced none of these issues? When he’d come out to his family, the announcement had surprised exactly none of them, and life had gone on as it had before – but he had done his best to be supportive, hoping that his words were enough, at least for now.

“Let me be the judge of what I want, hmm?” he prompted softly, earning a grudging nod. “Because I know full well what I want, and that’s you – in whatever capacity I can have you. If this,” he gestured to their surroundings, a nod to their late night rendezvous and the way that Richard wouldn’t be seen in his company after sun up, “is what you’re ready for, then this is what we’ll do. If you need more, or less, just say the word. I just want _you,_ Richard.”

“I can’t understand why,” Richard muttered, pinking up at Lee’s emphatic words but unable to resist making the dig at himself. Lee just shook his head, taking Richard’s face between his hands and pulling him in for a long kiss to communicate the words he couldn’t quite say out loud yet.

“I’ll spend as long as I need to explaining it to you but quite frankly, Rich, I think you’re wonderful.”

This time, it was Richard who initiated the kiss – and Lee pushed his inhibitions about physical contact to one side and wrapped Richard in a tight embrace and didn’t let go for a long, long time.

They hadn’t had sex that night – after all of Richard’s unloading, it seemed more fitting to cuddle up under a blanket with the last of the wine, trading quiet murmurs about their day and warm, sweet kisses, Lee doing his best to keep Richard comfortable so that he didn’t start to worry about how he’d laid his whole past out in front of Lee for him to pick through at his leisure. (Going by the way that Richard eventually passed out tucked into Lee’s side, he concluded that he’d done pretty well.)

But Lee _did_ pick through the conversation, thousands of times over, especially when he woke up in the early hours of the morning to find Richard’s side of the bed empty but still ever so slightly warm. He could accept that they were at different stages, and made it clear to Richard that his qualms about revealing his sexuality to anyone weren’t going to change Lee’s feelings about him. Even if Lee spent a lot of time since dreaming about more – a farm upstate, a dog or four, a ring on Richard’s finger and the promise of forever – he would take what he could get, and wait for as long as it took.

But it was possible – thrillingly possible – that that wait was almost over.

After his lunchtime revelation, Richard didn’t avoid Lee so much as split his time equally amongst other cast members – moving to the other end of the lunch table to chat with Mark and Jed and Stephen as their desserts arrived (even if Lee could tell that he wasn’t giving the conversation his all, deep in his own thoughts, chancing the odd glance at Lee when he thought no one else was looking), wandering the streets with Graham for most of the afternoon, then taking Dean and Aidan out for some uncle-nephew bonding before everyone met up again for dinner. Lee, meanwhile, spent his free hours catching up with Evie and Orlando, who showed mercifully little interest in the topic of Richard’s apparent romance. (It was these two from whom Lee had found it hardest to keep the relationship. They had become very close very quickly, and not disclosing such a major part of his life to them had made Lee feel guilty as hell. Then again, he also knew that they weren’t the type to hold it against him when the truth eventually came out – they would understand that he had kept the matter close to his chest for a reason, and that would be the end of the matter.)

That didn’t stop Richard staying in touch via text, though, and it became clear that his unsubtle messages during lunch had only been the beginning – in fact, their tone had only descended as the day went on.

_New message: Rich  
Apparently going out with Graham was a bad idea because I miss your face already and I can’t stop thinking about you._

_New message: Rich  
Also, I don’t think you have any idea how suggestively you were eating that cake at lunch._

_New message: Rich  
I was trying not to watch because I was pretty sure that if I did, I’d have to lunge across the table and kiss you._

_New message: Rich  
…And probably do a whole host of other things to you as well, let’s be honest here._

_New message: Rich  
By the way, I forgot to tell you that your ass looks divine in those jeans – already looking forward to peeling them off you tonight ;)_

_New message: Rich  
I hope you know that I’m thinking about your cock right now and how good it felt inside me last night._

_New message: Rich  
It’s making me hard._

_New message: Rich  
It’s also getting increasingly difficult to pretend that I spent last night on a plane rather than in your bed getting so spectacularly laid._

_New message: Rich  
I feel like we could have made much better use of the afternoon sneaking back to the hotel for a few more rounds._

_New message: Rich  
On second thoughts, I’m not that fussy – I’d accept anywhere with a lockable door._

_New message: Rich  
I really wish I could suck you off right now._

_New message: Rich  
Just so you know, I’d do it exactly how you like it, with two fingers inside you while I take you as deep as I can, and I’d make you moan so loudly that everyone in the vicinity would know that you’re mine._

_New message: Rich  
Oh well – maybe I’ll just surprise you like that on set one day instead ;)_

Needless to say, Lee had spent a fair chunk of the afternoon trying to control the erection that seemed to reappear every time one of the messages came through and doing his best to keep his face neutral as he read them. (He had a terrible fear that if Richard kept doing this, kept texting him such inappropriate things, that one day he would become so conditioned that the mere beep of his phone would turn him on.) But to the best of his knowledge, no one raised the question of who Richard was sleeping with again – at least, not until dinner.

That was when the game-changer came.

The few missing cast members had trickled into the city throughout the day, and come eight in the evening they were all seated around a long table in the private room they’d booked at a swanky waterfront restaurant with what, in summer, would be spectacular views – that night, they were treated instead to the inky blackness of the New Zealand winter sky, lights twinkling from across the harbour.

No one had batted an eyelid when Lee and Richard just happened to end up next to each other at the table. No one saw the way that Richard had crossed the room in five giant steps, as soon as he saw Lee pick his seat, so he could do the same; the long tablecloth hid Richard’s hand, which had spent most of the evening resting on Lee’s thigh, comfortable and grounding and yet intoxicatingly new.

No one paid any attention to the way that they would top up each other’s glasses, Richard knowing which bottle Lee would want to drink from before he had considered it himself, or the fact that Lee would sporadically pass Richard bread from the basket in the centre of the table, not needing to ask which dips and oils he would want on each piece. Lee sliding a scallop onto Richard’s plate in exchange for a sneaky corner of his steak passed unseen.

(Yes, they’d become that couple: as they continued to date their way around Manhattan, Richard had warmed up to the intimacy of sharing food – would even feed it to Lee if their table was secluded enough, his eyes dark with intent as Lee took what he offered, the double entendre not lost on either of them. It tended to lead to hands wandering under the table and whispered promises that made both of them blush, and then taking the quickest route home possible and tumbling into bed. Lee vividly remembered the time that even that had been too slow for Richard, though, who had instead started touching him through his slacks as he drove, barely waiting until Lee had pulled into a quiet parking garage before undoing their seatbelts and leaning over and sucking him off until he was gasping and groaning and coming with a shout of Richard’s name. The pleased look on Richard’s face afterwards had made him want to reciprocate as soon as he could.)

And if anyone at the table noticed the intimate smiles that they kept giving each other, entirely unable to help themselves, then they let it slide without comment – which, when it came to this group of people, meant that they hadn’t noticed at all.

And it was all so goddamn thrilling to Lee.

So much had changed since the end of principal photography. He remembered their last night together like it was yesterday – the way that he’d drunk inhumane amounts of coffee during the afternoon so he wouldn’t end up passing out after sex and losing the chance to say a proper goodbye. He’d known that, given half the chance, Richard would have slunk out in the early hours and left the country without another word – and it would have been excruciating. But he managed to stay awake, and they spent the night wrapped around each other, only breaking the silence for murmured endearments and long, memorising kisses. And when Richard had finally left, just as the sky was starting to pink up with the sunrise, he did so with a shower of I love yous and see you soons. 

But their public interaction had always been so staggeringly minimal, except when it was absolutely required, and what interaction there was would have offered no clues to anyone that they knew each other as intimately as they did. There were few jokes, and certainly nothing personal – that was reserved for their evenings alone. And yet here he was – all the same people, only a few months later, and his attitude towards Lee was so astonishing that he wondered whether he was dreaming, because surely reality couldn’t be this wonderful.

The hand on his thigh squeezed gently, and when he looked at Richard out of the corner of his eye, he saw that he was trying to stifle a smile.

Lee wasn’t sure that he’d ever wanted to lean over and kiss him in front of everyone quite as much as he did in that moment. But he didn’t, instead opting for the subtlest of eyebrow raises, the silent language they’d developed over the course of their relationship, to let Richard know that he was onto him – and to reiterate his anticipation of what was to come before the dinner was over.

He’d gone to the bathroom when they first arrived at the restaurant, and hadn’t been wholly surprised when Richard joined him in there less than a minute later with a mischievous smile.

“We don’t have time for that,” Lee chastised, pleased to see that he’d interpreted Richard’s expression correctly when he caught the faintest hint of a guilty blush at being so transparent.

“Shame,” Richard murmured, stepping closer and sliding his index fingers through Lee’s belt loops, “I know you love how I look on my knees.”

“Rich –”

“And I also know how you feel about getting it on in public bathrooms,” he continued, “but if you insist…”

“Rich,” he repeated, and this time the word came out in a whine instead of a gasp, “I can’t go back out there with an erection.” Even as he said it, though, he felt his jeans beginning to grow tighter, and Richard just grinned back at him.

“I think it might be a little late for that, love.”

“You’re so cruel,” Lee sighed, not meaning it in the slightest, and Richard just shrugged before reaching up to kiss him, gentle and somehow still lovely despite the fact they were in a restaurant bathroom. (It was, in its defence, a clean one.) But Lee could feel, even as Richard’s hands came up to grasp at his shoulders, that his mind was elsewhere – and when he broke the kiss to explain why, it didn’t come as a surprise at all. 

“About this morning,” Richard said, almost nervously, and Lee didn’t need any further elaboration to know exactly what he was talking about, “I’d been thinking about it for a while, especially when I was away, but I sort of forgot to raise it last night. Surely you understand,” he added wryly, a clear reference to the spectacular fucking that had wiped everything else from both their minds. “And Martin – well, he just provided the perfect opportunity, and everyone was here, so I figured I should just… take it. But now I feel like that might have been the wrong thing to do. So I wanted to apologise, and not over text – I should have run it past you first. If you think I spoke too soon, then we can just keep quiet – quieter – for a while. It won’t take long for them to lose interest in trying to figure out who I’m seeing, especially if I don’t give them anything to work with. They know my sense of humour, anyway, so I might be able to play the whole thing off as a joke without any of them getting suspicious. It will be fine, and I’m sure we can fix things, and –”

“Hey, Rich – Rich. Stop,” Lee said gently, pressing his thumb to Richard’s lips, knowing that if he didn’t take action Richard would ramble on and on, the words getting faster and higher-pitched until he’d talked himself into a full-scale meltdown. That was the last thing they needed right now, especially when Lee had no objections whatsoever to the course of action that Richard had taken.

“It’s okay, baby,” he reassured him, keeping his voice low and steady, Richard visibly calming at his words and his tone (and the way that his free hand was rubbing small, comforting circles onto the small of his back was probably helping too), “it’s more than okay. I told you – whenever you’re ready, I’m ready. You haven’t done anything wrong. I promise.”

Richard sighed, possibly more out of relief than anything, and Lee could feel the nervousness fading away in that one long exhalation. He watched Richard’s face, waiting patiently for a verbal response (but at the same time unable to resist lifting his hand to Richard’s cheek and the rough mat of the beard he’d been cultivating over the last few weeks, savouring the way that he leaned into the touch) and, as he did so, he liked to imagine that he saw the exact moment that Richard decided that the thought he was contemplating was worth vocalising.

“If it’s alright with you, then,” he said slowly, not taking his eyes off Lee’s, “I think we should tell them tonight.”

And there they were – the words that Lee had been waiting so long to hear Richard say – and Richard was looking at him, waiting for a reply, and didn’t seem at all inclined to try and take them back. To the contrary, in fact, he wanted to elaborate.

“I mean, I’ve officially been back for less than a day, and already I feel like a complete shit for putting on an act in front of our colleagues – our friends – and pretending that there’s nothing between us. I’m letting them down by continuing this charade, but more importantly, I’m letting you down by expecting you to play along. You’re my boyfriend, and I’m in love with you, and right now I almost can’t remember why I felt the need to keep that a secret for so long.”

Oh, this day just kept getting better and better.

“It’s more than alright with me.” The answer spilled out immediately, and he was sure that the warmth on Richard’s face was mirrored on his own – and yet, bless him, Richard still felt the need to double check.

“Are you sure?”

“Never surer,” he promised, leaning in for another lingering kiss (the kind that could well have turned into something more, and probably would have if there wasn’t such a high chance of someone else walking in). “I love you – more than anything – and if today’s the day to share that fact with the others, then I would be thrilled to stand up with you in front of everyone and do so. Bonus points if you can get Martin to choke on his drink again, though.”

And Richard just grinned some more, the last of his worry seeming to evaporate at Lee’s response and the certainty in his tone.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Needless to say, Lee had spent the rest of the evening trying to contain his excitement. 

In the end, it was Martin – of course it was – who had unintentionally got the ball rolling. There was the smallest of lulls in the raucous conversation just after their mains had been cleared away, and he took the opportunity to tap a stray knife against his wine glass loudly enough for everyone to fall silent in response.

“Right, before you all get too drunk to remember the rest of the night, I’ve just got a few things that I’d like to say.” With a self-serving little cough, he withdrew what was unmistakably a cue card from his shirt pocket and glanced down at it for a second or two, prompting laughter around the table. Of course Martin would want to make a speech, and of course he would come prepared.

“No, I’m only kidding,” he snickered, clearly pleased with the response, “I don’t want to make you suffer for too long, so I’ll keep it short. Basically, I just wanted to say that I’m really fucking pleased to see you bastards again.”

Only Martin, Lee thought with a fond shake of his head (and looking around the rest of the cast, he wasn’t the only one) – only he could lovingly insult people like that and get away with it.

“And I’m really looking forward to working with you all again – except you three, that is,” he added, to more laughter, eyeing Stephen, Mark and Bill at the far end of the table where they’d clearly been doing something inappropriate with the last of the breads and dips and were now wearing overly guilty faces, Mark still sporting a tell-tale smear of what could have been balsamic vinegar on his cheek.

“Really, though, it’s a pleasure to be back. It’s such a rare privilege to spend months on end not only in such a beautiful country but also with such a talented bunch of actors, and I intend to enjoy every minute of it. To be honest, ever since I left I’ve been counting down the days until I could come back – although if I had a dollar for every time someone’s asked me what it’s like to work with Gandalf the Grey, Ian, I could probably retire right now.” Ian just lifted his glass in polite – albeit clearly amused – acknowledgment.

“And I hope my fellow foreigners have brought their A-game again to avoid being outclassed by a bunch of Kiwis with the home advantage – not you,” he added, pointing at Aidan accusingly, “you traitor, you don’t count, you’ve already switched sides.”

“It’s true,” Dean grinned, “you wouldn’t believe how much Kiwi slang he’s started to use without even realising – he’s definitely one of us now.”

“Actually, as for you two,” Martin said, this time gesturing to both Aidan and Dean and narrowing his eyes, “after our conversation this morning, if I hear so much as a fucking peep from either of you about anything X-rated going down in those trailers of yours, so help me god I will make you suffer for it.”

Aidan opened his mouth to offer up a rude response, eyes gleaming – but he shut it again when Dean elbowed him, shaking his head and flushing slightly.

Lee didn’t think he wanted to know.

“And finally, Richard, our esteemed leader, who deserves a special mention of his own – I can’t for the life of me imagine someone else filling Thorin’s enormous boots or bringing together this bunch of idiots like you have. It will be an honour,” he added with a grin, “to follow you again one last time.”

The terrible joke prompted groans from around the table and Jimmy, who had just lifted his wine glass to his mouth, appeared to inhale half of it in amusement. Richard wasn’t smiling at all, though, but looking down at his lap, and Lee caught sight of the tell-tale bob of his throat as he swallowed, a sign that he was touched by Martin’s words.

He’d always doubted himself so much. It was one of the things he’d confessed, one night right at the beginning, which they’d spent half watching a movie and half concentrating on the way their hands fitted together like they were made for each other: that he hadn’t believed that he deserved the role and was just waiting for Peter to send him home. The insecurity had improved over time, but the remnants still lingered, even after the end of principal photography. Lee could do his best to reassure him, of course – and he did so until he was blue in the face – but his heartfelt declarations never seemed to carry quite as much weight as he wished they would, Richard never seeming entirely convinced, as though he thought Lee was only making them out of obligation. Every time he heard praise from someone else, though, he would grow in confidence a little more.

Lee pressed his hand atop Richard’s and squeezed.

“So,” Martin concluded, raising his glass in a toast and clearly not wanting to miss the opportunity to continue the joke further, “to one last time.”

“One last time,” everyone echoed, clinking glasses with their neighbours. Lee was almost relieved to have the opportunity to turn to Richard and blatantly gaze at him in front of everyone, even if it was just for a moment – and even if he was slightly taken aback by the way that Richard took a fortifying slug of his wine before setting his glass down with unusual determination.

“Actually,” he said, disentangling his other hand from Lee’s (who shifted it from his own thigh to Richard’s out of habit, not wanting to end the physical contact, not when Richard had been giving it so freely), “I’d like to say a few words as well.”

In the two seconds it took for all eyes to turn to him, he glanced back at Lee. There was a question on his face that no one else would appreciate, but Lee saw it and he understood and his heart was thumping in his chest as he offered up an almost imperceptible nod of his head.

_“If it’s alright with you, then, I think we should tell them tonight.”_

Lee knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would remember this moment for the rest of his life.

“Unfortunately,” Richard began, “I’m a little less prepared than Martin, but I suppose I just wanted to echo his sentiments. I know I’m extremely lucky to have been cast in this film – it’s been an amazing experience so far, not least because of all the incredible people in this room. I feel like we’ve all become very close, and coming together again has really driven that home for me… but that’s also why I don’t want to spend the next three months keeping secrets from you like I did last time.”

Every face – literally every single other face – in the room was the picture of confusion. Even the troublemakers of the group were listening, quiet and attentive, as they tried to figure out what on earth Richard was talking about – clearly, they could tell that he was gearing up to say something of particular significance.

“You see,” he continued, knotting his fingers together atop the table, a dead giveaway that he was nervous (at least it was to Lee, who’d had plenty of time to observe the man’s idiosyncrasies, unable to keep from watching him from a distance even when he wasn’t supposed to), but there was no stopping him now, “I took on this role and came to New Zealand knowing that it would be a life-changing experience – and it has been, in more ways than one, and more ways than I’d ever expected. I fell in love with the country, the people – and, most of all, with the man sitting on my left.”

And there it was: the truth that he’d spent so long squashing down, too terrified to admit it to anyone for fear of repercussions – repercussions that weren’t exactly forthcoming (at least, not yet) because everyone around the table had been stunned into silence, all eyes swivelling between Richard and Lee and then back again as they tried to work out whether they’d heard what they thought they’d heard.

In the end – and perhaps unsurprisingly – it was Aidan who spoke first, his instinctive reaction tumbling out of his mouth of its own accord before he had the chance to consider whether it was appropriate.

“No fucking _way_.”

It broke the ice, at least, and a flash of mortification crossed his face as soon as he’d said it, prompting laughter from the rest of the cast (and a gentle cuff upside the head from Dean, who rolled his eyes at his tactlessness). And it was that uniform reaction, the glaring absence of any negativity whatsoever, that told Lee that everything was going to be okay, that none of these people were going to judge them – no, they would all welcome the development, and share in his and Richard’s happiness.

All except Martin, anyway, who looked as dumbfounded as Bilbo had when an unexpected band of dwarves tumbled through his front door. (Lee was quietly amused by the fact that Richard had managed to get him to make that face twice in one day.)

“Richard – _Lee_ – you – I don’t believe it,” he sputtered, “tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking,” Richard grinned, remarkably light-hearted in the wake of such a life-changing bombshell, “I’m not joking at all.”

“So, wait – this isn’t the revelation to him that it is to us, right?” Martin checked, peering at them both suspiciously as if half-convinced that he had somehow misread the situation or misunderstood Richard’s announcement and wanted to make sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were all on the same page. “Lee already knows how you feel? You’re actually… together?”

“Oh, yes, we’re very much together,” Lee reassured him, unable to resist the urge to turn to Richard – he’d managed to largely keep his eyes to himself so far, but he was only human, after all – just as Richard did the same, gifting Lee with a gaze that was nothing short of adoring. Lee knew that his affection for Richard was just as obvious, written all over his face for everyone to see, and yet this time, he didn’t care at all. He didn’t have to make a conscious effort to hold back in front of these people, and he never would again. He squeezed Richard’s thigh again under the table and felt him give a relieved little sigh, all the nerves and tension draining out of him as he exhaled. Lee, too, felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders – he had barely noticed it was there, but it must have been for a while, growing heavier as pickups approached, even in light of Richard’s insistence that he was going to be able to tell the rest of the cast the truth – washed away by a crashing surge of pride.

“Well,” Martin said thoughtfully, “if I’d known that my moving speech would motivate you to fess up, I would have made one at lunch instead of saving it for tonight. Thanks for that, Richard.”

“Unbelievable,” Luke butted in with a shake of his head, “trust you to try and take the credit. Bloody hobbits, always after the glory.”

His serious tone only provoked further mirth, but as it tailed off, all eyes were slowly drawn back to Richard. He’d done nothing explicit to attract their attention, but somehow there was something in his demeanour that suggested that he wasn’t finished. 

“But I want to say that I’m sorry, too, for keeping you all in the dark for so long, because love is something to be shared and celebrated and, well, given how close we’ve all become, you deserved to know before now.”

His tone was almost apologetic – like he was expecting to be berated for not being 100% open with them previously – but entirely unnecessary, in Lee’s view, given that any hints of indignation or resentment at being so thoroughly deceived were well hidden behind the elated expression echoed on every single face in the room.

But still Richard wasn’t done. Instead, he clearly felt he owed everyone a little more of an explanation – and the next words out of his mouth weren’t ones that Lee had expected to hear him say in front of this many people, not now and not for a long time to come.

“The reason I didn’t – I _couldn’t_ – tell you sooner is that I grew up in fairly conservative circles and had always been given the overwhelming impression that the feelings I was experiencing were temporary and wrong, so I’ve spent the majority of my adult life lying to everyone – including myself – and pretending that everything was okay when it really wasn’t.”

If the elaboration had surprised Lee, it had surprised everyone else around the table more. Richard wasn’t exactly the type to discuss his personal life at the best of times, so whatever his orientation, maybe everyone had just assumed that he knew where he stood and was okay with it. To find out that he didn’t and he wasn’t – that this was the reason why he’d been holding back from sharing his relationship with Lee – gave his announcement an extra layer of significance, going by the group’s visible reactions (Martin, in particular, seemed almost embarrassed for being so determined to find out who he was seeing) and the way that Graham, on his other side, bumped his shoulder in support.

Of course, Lee knew that that brief background was only scratching the surface of Richard’s internal turmoil. It had eaten him alive for the better part of three decades, and that fact broke Lee’s heart a little more every time he thought about it. But he’d done everything he could, tried his best never to take more than Richard was willing to give, and waited for him to make the next move whenever he was ready. He was so worth waiting for, after all.

That patience was sure paying off in spades now – because here they were, the truth coming out in front of everyone, and Richard’s insecurities suddenly seemed a thousand lifetimes ago. 

“And then I came to New Zealand, and I met Lee,” Richard continued softly, clearly encouraged by the positive reception his words were garnering, “and slowly but surely, he changed everything. He is the most loving, kind, patient and extraordinary man I’ve ever met. Over the course of our incredible relationship, he has made me a better person, and I’m proud to call him my boyfriend.”

Lee felt another little flutter in his stomach at Richard’s use of the B-word – he did say it more now, and had done ever since they’d discussed his use of it after his wisdom teeth removal, but the effects it had on Lee were showing no signs of abating whatsoever, and he knew that Richard had used it intentionally, fully aware of how giddy it made him. And even the dull murmurs and clinking of the public part of the restaurant through the wall seemed to have lessened as he spoke, like they were in a private little bubble, captivated by Richard’s words and the genuine affection that was audible in his tone.

“In fact,” he added, after a pause, like he’d decided there was no point holding back the rest of the detail, “I’m so stupidly in love with him that earlier this year, I officially made the shift to New York and into his apartment, and to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. He’s the light of my life… and, well, I figured it was finally time that you all knew that.”

Richard had barely finished talking before the table erupted.

And yet Lee barely noticed it, the sound fading into the background as Richard turned to him again, sporting a slight flush and a delightfully wide grin, and then, in full view of everyone, he leaned in, his eyes lowering to Lee’s mouth in that unequivocal way of his. Lee mirrored the movement before grabbing Richard’s collar to meet him halfway, pressing their lips together in a kiss that immediately catapulted to the top of the list of those that he would never forget as long as he lived.

Not until they broke apart, Richard giving him one of those besotted smiles that he never saw when they had company, did he register the excited noise that was still filling the room. It was hard to tell what people were most astonished by: the fact that Richard had moved to New York at what was objectively very short notice without telling anyone, the fact that he and Lee were together at all, let alone living together, or the fact that he was divulging his sexual orientation to everyone for the first time and that he wasn’t exactly in the same place on the spectrum as anyone might have thought. 

But one question came louder than all the rest.

“No, hold on, wait – tell us – if you’re living together already, when the hell did this – all this – actually happen?”

Lee stayed silent, looking to Richard to answer, not wanting to give away more details than he was comfortable with.

But Richard, apparently, had no qualms about sharing – not anymore.

“Oh, a few weeks after he first arrived in New Zealand,” he said casually, which only prompted another round of disbelieving shouts.

Martin, in particular, looked appalled – and cheated. “You were sneaking around under everyone’s noses the entire time?”

So much for his contention that it was impossible to keep secrets on set.

Richard shrugged. “There’s a lot you can get away with if no one knows that there’s anything to be paying attention to in the first place.”

“But you never – you never –”

“Not everyone’s as unsubtle as those two, you know,” Lee interjected with a grin, gesturing once again to Dean and Aidan, who had spent the evening being as obnoxiously loved-up as ever, “and we just quietly learned from their mistakes – for example, making out on set probably isn’t the best idea if you want to keep things under wraps.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Aidan grinned, not offended in the slightest. “Plus, who would want to pass up the opportunity to say that they’ve got it on in Mirkwood Forest?”

“Aid,” Dean groaned, clearly mortified by his blasé tone, the blush on his face making it clear that Aidan wasn’t joking, “shut up.”

Now _there_ was something that Lee hadn’t considered – hadn’t let himself consider: the prospect of experimenting with Richard in daylight hours and outside the safe and secluded environment to which they’d confined themselves during principal photography.

Better yet, doing so in costume.

He ducked his head slightly, his mind immediately supplying him with dozens of fantasies to trawl through, and his cock giving an interested twitch at the first few mental images: sucking off Richard – sorry, _Thorin_ – both in their full kingly regalia, Thorin’s fingers tangling in the long hair of his wig and his cheeks flushed from the weight of his costume; Thorin on his knees, submitting completely to Thranduil, Lee keeping his voice and body cool and controlled, even as he came; even – if the opportunity presented itself, if the set was recreated for a few extra shots – fucking him nice and slow on that ridiculous elven throne when there was no one around to hear their echoing moans.

It was enough to make him wish they were back on set already.

He wondered, for half a second, if it was worth asking Aidan for some advice on the logistics of it all (he could only imagine how difficult it would be to get to Richard’s skin under all those layers), before realising that that was an incredibly bad idea. He’d never let them hear the end of it, and to say that Richard would be absolutely horrified was the understatement of the century.

No, there was nothing else for it – they’d just have to figure things out for themselves.

Lee was most definitely looking forward to it.

“Please stop talking,” Graham sighed, “no one wants to know how you’ve fucked all over the set. Some of us would prefer not to think about that when we’re working.”

“Hey, don’t blame me – Lee was the one who brought it up,” Aidan gleamed, “and Adam wants to know, don’t you, Adam?”

“Stop that,” Jimmy scolded, “you’ll traumatise the poor boy.”

That only resulted in more laughter, Adam shaking his head wordlessly before Martin jumped back in to steer the conversation towards what he clearly considered to be more pressing matters.

“Right – seriously, now,” he called down the length of the table, “since not everyone was privy to our conversation at lunchtime, when Richard mentioned oh so casually that he was seeing someone, raise your hand if you saw this coming.”

This time, there was a lone hand raised.

That hand belonged to Ian.

Oh, of _course._

“Ian?” Martin asked incredulously. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew,” Ian said calmly, like he wasn’t dropping a bombshell of his own. “I spent half a lifetime struggling with my own sexuality, and I can recognise when other people are going through the same thing. But it wasn’t my place to say anything, and I feared that to do so would cause more harm than good. I like to think that if Richard felt that he was unable to figure things out on his own and needed some advice, he would have known that he could come to me. I see now that he managed very well by himself, and I’m delighted.”

It would never have occurred to Richard to seek advice, and he certainly wouldn’t have considered asking for it from someone on set – he preferred to withdraw and hibernate until he’d worked through his issues, a reaction with which Lee was now very familiar. But Richard’s face didn’t betray that attitude at all – he just shook his head slightly in disbelief, leaving it to everyone else to ask the hard questions.

And ask them they did.

“Did you know… who? I mean, could you tell it was Lee?”

“He seemed to become more weighed down and preoccupied as time went on, so I assumed that there was something or someone on set that was making him question himself. I had my suspicions about the object of his affections but no, Richard, you’ll be pleased to know that you never gave me any concrete indication that it was Lee that you were in love with.”

That, at least, was a relief, and Lee was sure that Richard would interpret it in much the same way. If Ian was the only person who’d realised that there was something going on – the only person, out of the hundred or so with whom they’d spent every day of principal photography – then when it came to the rest of the world, they were most likely still safe.

“The whole time,” Martin sighed, “you’d known the whole time, and just kept it to yourself. God, now I feel even more obtuse. Thanks, Ian.”

Ian just shrugged with a secretive little smile. “Like Richard said, you’d never see it if you weren’t looking. I’ve got three decades and my own experiences on you, after all – it was a little more obvious to me than to the rest of you.”

Martin huffed at that, clearly unable to think of a witty response, before turning his attention and accusing tone to Lee. “And you – you bastard,” he proclaimed, “you sneaky bastard. Pretending this afternoon that you had no idea what he was talking about, even – even – you were the one who asked him if it was someone at the table, for god’s sake.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t lie, did I?” Richard responded with a little smirk, still so astonishingly unfazed by the whole conversation. “I said it was, and that was the truth. You were the one who refused to believe me.”

“Still,” Martin muttered – and Lee had a feeling that this was going to be a sore spot over the rest of pickups, given how much Martin hated to be bested, “bloody devious, the pair of you. The whole time, and just… nothing. We had no idea. None of us did. And you… Well.” He raised his voice pointedly until he had everyone’s attention again. “I think I speak for everyone when I wish you both all the happiness in the world – although going by how bloody pleased with yourselves you both look, I think you might have found it already.”

Lee thought he might just be right.

“Congratulations – from all of us – but also, as someone who wasn’t aware of what you’d been going through, Richard, I’m honoured that you feel comfortable enough to share your relationship with us now. It can’t have been easy, and I’m personally in awe of your courage – then again,” he added with a wry grin, “I shouldn’t have expected anything less from Thorin Oakenshield himself. And I think this merits another toast – to the happy couple.”

It sounded remarkably like a wedding toast, a mental image that Lee filed away for later. For now, he focused on the sight of Richard next to him, bright-eyed (almost suspiciously bright-eyed, in fact, but he wasn’t going to draw everyone’s attention to that now) and beaming and yes, just like Martin had said earlier in the day, he was glowing.

It was the glow of someone who was happy and in love and – finally – not afraid to show it.

And those judgmental, homophobic reactions that he had always been so worried about, that had dictated his behaviour for so long – well, they weren’t forthcoming at all. In fact, the only person who saw anything even mildly negative about his admission was Aidan – who had zeroed in on the single downside and decided to make his concern known, much to everyone’s amusement.

“I guess that means no free drinks?” he asked forlornly, the distress on his face only giving rise to more laughter – from everyone but Richard, who just looked perplexed.

“Martin said at lunch that he’d shout drinks for whoever managed to get you to confess who you were sleeping with,” Adam elaborated. That, at least, earned a slight blush from Richard – and a reproachful glance at Martin.

“Hey, I had to provide an incentive after that bombshell you dropped,” Martin said, holding his hands up in mock surrender, “plus, you couldn’t just say something like that and then walk away and not expect us to be curious.”

“Fair enough,” Richard grinned, “but knock yourself out, Aid – and everyone else – I’ll be picking up the tab tonight.”

He spent most of the rest of the evening nestled against Lee, having scooted his chair as close to Lee’s as he could, but the first time he’d placed his hand atop Lee’s on the table in full view of everyone, Lee thought his heart was going to burst with happiness. Now that the cat was out of the bag completely, all eyes were on them as they topped up each other’s glasses and snuck mouthfuls of each other’s dessert (Lee’s trio of berry sorbets were good, but didn’t hold a candle to Richard’s obscenely decadent chocolate orange fondant with orange ice cream), Richard treating Lee to the warm, indulgent smiles and gentle touches that were usually reserved for their moments alone. It made Lee wonder – no, scratch that, he didn’t have to wonder at all, because he _knew_ that Richard had secretly been wanting this for a long time, even though he hadn’t been able to admit it to himself. He was an endearingly affectionate man, and he would have been damming up that desire to keep close to Lee in front of their castmates ever since this thing between them had begun – and now, finally, he could let it all out.

And Lee – well, he was just giddy. He couldn’t take his eyes off Richard, who looked so damn pleased with the evening’s turn of events. He wasn’t even remotely shaken when Luke (loudly, it had to be said) finally cottoned onto the fact that Lee was responsible for the bruises that they’d all been speculating about earlier in the day, some of the group looking like they’d rather not have been reminded of the discussion. Instead, impressively, Richard just smirked and changed the subject, apparently none too bothered by the knowledge that his and Lee’s bedroom antics (not least their apparent preference for mild bondage) would inevitably be the talk of the set for the next three months.

No, Lee was preoccupied with the yawning possibilities that were opening up in front of him. If the cast and crew knew that they were in a relationship, they could just _do_ so much more together. Even Richard had acknowledged, long before the idea of telling the rest of the cast the truth was even on the table, that there weren’t the same dangers of going out in public in Wellington as there were in Manhattan. There were so many places that Lee knew he hadn’t been, not even with the other cast members, a thousand little spots that he wanted to show him so they could make them theirs: breakfasts at Maranui and Scorchorama, walks (or runs, even, if he could convince Richard to expend that much energy on a day off) around the bays and up Mt Vic and Mt Kaukau, indie and foreign films at the Lighthouse and the Penthouse, exploration of the little hole in the wall food and craft beer places he kept stumbling upon…

And he knew that the first day off they had that was at least moderately sunny (it wasn’t going to be warm, because winter in Wellington never was, but he knew he could count on the odd clear-skied day and he was damn well going to make the most of them when they arrived), he was going to drag Richard down to the waterfront for a day of tourist activities: hiring kayaks and pedal boats and those ridiculous crocodile bikes that he wasn’t even sure they’d fit in, gorging on gelato until they made themselves sick, strolling around Oriental Parade and picking a nice restaurant with harbour views to eat at before heading home (and he wouldn’t say no to ending the day on a high with a long, leisurely fuck).

It wasn’t as if they were limited to Wellington, either. If they could snatch a few days off at the same time, they could drive up the coast or take the ferry to the South Island or fly – well, anywhere, really. There were so many places yet to explore, and now they could explore them together.

They could do _anything_ – starting now.

“I’m so proud of you,” he murmured into Richard’s ear – and Richard just turned to face him, sliding his fingers through his hair affectionately before coaxing him closer for what was, objectively, a very chaste kiss.

Luke, however, didn’t seem to think so.

“Christ almighty – get a room, would you?”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Richard told him reassuringly, albeit with a flicker of a smirk, “we already have, and we plan on putting it to very good use tonight.” 

(Mark squawked, Adam blushed, Dean and Aidan whooped embarrassingly, Graham gave them what was clearly meant to be a disapproving look, and Martin tried to cover his ears. Luke, meanwhile, just leaned back in his chair and laughed at the various reactions before offering Lee an exaggerated wink when he thought no one was looking.)

Midnight came and went and still they stayed at their table, finally stumbling out of the restaurant sometime between two and three in various states of drunkenness. Aidan and Dean were loud and obnoxious, and Mark was treating the whole street to an unwanted and intentionally off-key rendition of ‘Blunt the Knives,’ while Richard just lolled slightly into Lee’s half-embrace as they waited for their taxis. The two of them had switched to non-alcoholic drinks a few hours previously: Lee had had so much to drink since his return to New Zealand that a few waters would probably do him the world of good, while Richard’s jetlag was catching up to him in earnest – so much so, in fact, that he dozed off on Lee’s shoulder on the way back to the hotel. Mercifully, the van’s other passengers took pity on him, keeping the volume of their conversations so low that Richard only woke up once they had arrived, and even then only because Lee was squeezing his shoulder and murmuring in his ear and telling him that no, Rich, you can’t just stay in the back of the van all night, especially not when there’s a nice bed waiting for you upstairs.

The bright lights of the hotel lobby clearly left him feeling a bit livelier, however – lively enough to pull Lee into an impromptu kiss once they were the last two left in the elevator: as soon as the doors closed and the elevator continued its ascent, he was pressing Lee to the wall with a reckless smile and teasing his tongue into his mouth, a wordless communication of how much he had enjoyed his evening. It took Lee by surprise, but that didn’t stop his arms from twining around Richard’s waist to pull him closer as the kiss grew deeper and noisier, the sounds of their mouths moving together never failing to kindle an anticipatory warmth in his belly. The icy press of Richard’s nose against his cheek was the only thing keeping him grounded in reality, reminding him that this wasn’t the place for them to take things further – they had a private, secure hotel room and a whole night ahead of them, after all.

Richard pulled away as the lift pinged again to let them know they’d reached their floor, but didn’t miss the way that Lee was slumped against the wall or the happy little sigh that slipped from his mouth. They didn’t touch or speak again until the door to their room was closed behind them and Richard had unwound both of their scarves, pushed his own coat from his shoulders and started on Lee’s. 

“I’d been waiting all day to kiss you like that, you know,” he confessed in a low murmur as he popped each button from its buttonhole, slow and careful and methodical.

“You can kiss me like that anytime you want,” Lee countered, “maybe even more so now.”

“Who knows,” Richard mused – he didn’t look up from his task, but Lee could see the hint of a smile anyway, “maybe I will.” The last button slid free, and Richard removed the coat, folding it lovingly and draping it over the arm of the couch to join his own.

“Tired?”

“Mm.”

“Come on, then.”

By the time Lee made it into the bedroom, having swung by the kitchen en route to grab some bottled water from the fridge, Richard had already toed off his shoes and pulled off his belt and made himself comfortable on the freshly-made bed, flat on his back and arms outstretched and his eyes half-closed in bliss. Lee had spent so much of the evening rehearsing the things he wanted to say to Richard, the discussion of the day that he was sure was inevitable, and yet all of those thoughts faded into obscurity at the sight in front of him.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he blurted, and Richard opened his eyes again before cocking one eyebrow appraisingly. “You’re not so bad yourself, you know.” He stretched, languidly, and Lee felt his mouth go dry at the sinful movement, arms above his head and back arching slightly off the mattress.

“Coming to bed?”

“Yeah,” Lee murmured, unable to tear his eyes away from – well, everything, really, but particularly the sliver of skin visible between the hem of Richard’s slightly rucked up shirt and the waistband of his trousers, and the way that he’d undone the top two buttons of his shirt to expose the hollow at the base of his throat, and…

“Take a picture – it’ll last longer.”

It was meant to sound like a joke, but somehow it didn’t – and Richard wasn’t shying away from his words or trying to take them back with an anxious little smile.

“I mean it,” he added, clearly noting Lee’s confused expression as he scooted up the bed, reaching for one of the pillows to prop himself up with, “if you want.”

Lee had never been allowed to take his picture before.

He’d wanted to – _Christ,_ had he wanted to, because there had been so many beautiful moments with Richard that he’d been dying to document and he would have done so without a second thought had Richard not been so blatantly opposed to the idea. The first time Lee had brought the matter up, the first time Richard had visibly recoiled from the camera, he’d explained his terror of someone spotting a picture of one of them (or both of them together, looking every inch the couple) on the other’s phone and the barrage of questions that would undoubtedly ensue. It all came back to that same point – Richard not wanting anyone to find out about them before he was ready.

But now he was.

And somehow, all those fears were suddenly off the table.

Richard grinned up at him, easy and relaxed, even as he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture, willing his hands to stop shaking. It was gorgeous – god, every picture of Richard was – and maybe he would ask, one day in the not too distant future, if he could set it as his background as a reminder of how far they’d come. For now, though, he tossed his phone aside and joined Richard on the bed, turning to lie on one side and watching as Richard mimicked him unconsciously, leaving them face to face.

God, Lee would never, ever get tired of this view, of going to bed and then waking up with this man next to him, the man he’d realised some time ago was officially the love of his life, the one he wanted forever.

When an appropriate length of time had elapsed – when he was satisfied that Richard was comfortable enough in his own skin not to baulk at the prospect – maybe he’d tell him that in a more meaningful, solemn way than he usually did.

Maybe he’d even do it with a little gold band in a velvet box.

One day.

“Rich?”

“Hmm?”

“I think today has been one of the best days of my life,” he confessed, basking in the wide smile his words earned.

“Me too,” Richard said softly, reaching out a lazy arm and tugging Lee closer. He went willingly, letting Richard’s fingertips slide over his cheek and jaw and through his hair in the way that Richard knew made him melt, unable to help closing his eyes and sighing. Richard took that as the encouragement that it was, curling one leg around Lee’s waist and pushing him onto his back and shifting until he was straddling him, chest to chest and hips to hips and thighs to thighs. He nudged his nose against Lee’s once before proceeding to gift him with a series of intoxicatingly slow kisses, the kind that made Lee wonder whether he could just pass out from sheer relaxed pleasure and go to sleep just like this, Richard’s mouth so endearingly familiar and velvety warm and his weight pressing him into the bed.

Once Richard pulled away, though, it became abundantly clear that he had other ideas – and that those ideas certainly didn’t involve sleeping.

“And just think,” he added with a small but predatory grin, flicking the tip of his tongue over Lee’s cupid’s bow and swivelling his hips just enough for Lee to realise that he was no longer anywhere near as tired as he had been before, “the day’s still so far from over. You didn’t forget what I said about thanking you for this morning, did you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Remember that time when I thought that the first instalment of this series (9k) was enormous? *laughs slightly hysterically*
> 
> In all seriousness, this one just got away from me completely - more scenes just kept appearing on the page - so I apologise for the rather extended delay and I really hope you enjoy it. And if you do, you could always leave kudos and/or a comment ;)
> 
> Thank you as always to Laurelin for her pep talks (and also for spawning the shower scene and a few other bits and pieces featured here way back when I posted the first part of this series...) <3
> 
> Also - I've finally made a proper fandom/writing blog which is (unsurprisingly) eucatastrophe--x.tumblr.com so you know what to dooo :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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